a tree can only grow where its planted

I spend a lot of time criticizing a lot of things. But that's because many people, especially of my generation are getting more and more ridiculous. There's a young woman I know who was trying to convince me that I had no "swagger" and I should find a way to get some, perhaps by emulating her boyfriend. Now without delving into the fabric of this specimen's character, even if he did have this mystical characteristic that is so popularly referred to by just about everyone who you should never take advice from about anything, I surely would not want it. So I impressed this upon her, at which point she predictably got sensitive about me clowning her dude.
I can't fault her for being corny, and having corny taste in men, for she's from a county in the state of Maryland that is notorious amongst Baltimore natives for breeding what I would like to call Royal Coondom. Royal Coondom is the type of behavior exuded by many of the inhabitants of a princely province near the District of Columbia, that often includes excessive references, both verbal and behavioral, to much of the popular televised nonsense with which we are inundated, mostly at the expense of the perception of young black culture by mainstream America. For example, anyone who has ever done a "shoulder lean" is probably from this area in my experience. They also utter phrases which you might have been able to recognize from songs that you otherwise don't understand, by artists such as Lil' Wayne for example, and many of his followers. (Sidenote: how does any grown man with tattoos on his face have followers, I have no idea, but this is also terrible.) An example of such buffonery would be someone uttering forth, "It ain't trickin' if you got it." And rest assured that they don't have 'it' inasmuch as 'it' is money. If this statement were to more accurately reflect the state of things, they would say, "it ain't trickin' if you borrowed it and are past due on your visa bill but they haven't froze your spending limt yet.' I'm not saying this to criticize this individual's lifestyle, but only to interject some sobering reality into the mix here, because apparently it is lacking. But what I realized as I thought about exactly why this type of behavior is so prevalent and how things got this way is that, a tree can only grow where its planted. I'm not trying to sound overly poetic or be some fake philosopher, but I feel like that is an appropriate analogy. If you grow up around coondom and buffonery, then odds are that's what you're gonna display. Right or wrong, maybe it's not for me to say, but I offer my commentary anyway. Even with this sobering realization about my own criticisms on the behavior of people around me, I still maintain that the shit is ridiculous, and don't ever listen to anybody who tries to explain to you what swagger is.

...that's got his own

Yes, the strong gets more
While the weak ones fade
Empty pockets don't ever make the grade
Mama may have, papa may have
But God bless the child thats got his own
Thats got his own
- Billie Holiday

I think a lot of people spend a good portion of their lives learning this lesson: There is a lot of horse-shit in life, you just have to learn to accept that much of it has your name on it, and in the meantime find and embrace the things in life that make you happy so that the rest of this nonsense doesn't seem so bad.
I spent my last summer in Baltimore, something that I really was not looking forward to doing. But in hindsight, I'm glad I did. It taught me a lot, being home around family and good friends, something that I'm deprived of when I'm up at school doing this horse-shit work for which I still have no job to speak of. Many of my good friends have moved out of Baltimore, but a few remain. And with them this past summer, we did what we enjoy. Eating good food, drinking good drinks, and chilling the f*ck out, because its stressful out here during regular business hours. We found a good place to go where we were all comfortable, and could do the things we wanted to do, then we kept going back. Good food, some scotch, a few beers, some worthwhile conversation completely devoid of references to anything you're gonna see on BET, MTV, or reality shows. It's like coming up for air, and you feel much better after you shake all of that horse-shit off that you accumulated during the week.
It is very important to find things that make you happy, and use them to keep yourself grounded when things get tough. This is not to say that everyone should just subscribe to hedonism and only do things that feel good to them, this is just as bad as sticking to the horse-shit all week as far as I can see. But you have to have some things that you can always go back to.
That Billie Holiday song above, God Bless The Child, this song makes me happy. I don't know why exactly, maybe it reminds me of how my grandmother used to sing Billie Holiday songs to me when I was little. I'm sure that's probably the main reason I started listening to the old jazz and soul music to begin with. But as long as I've known this song, I never gave anything more than superficial thought to what it meant. That's got his own what? I wondered.
I've read that this line came from an argument she had with her mother about money. This makes sense, but I always felt the song deserved a more substantive meaning than that. Maybe it means mother and father may each have their own way of being, their own notions of life, the best of which they seek to impart to their children. But God bless the child that has the understanding to learn from his parents' wisdom, but preserves his own sensibilities in order that he live life through his own eyes. Could that be it, could it be about the understanding and respect for where you come from, but without being blind to what is yet to come? Maybe.

Them thats got shall get
Them thats not shall lose
So the Bible said and it still is news
Mama may have, papa may have

Maybe it's about faith. God bless the child that has faith that nothing in life is permanent, least of all the challenges we face. They always persist, but they are ever-changing. So you have to believe that something bigger than yourself is going on so you can make sense out of all the ups and downs. I would like that. But its not that simple either.

Money, you've got lots of friends
Crowding round the door
When you're gone, spending ends
They don't come no more
Rich relations give
Crust of bread and such
You can help yourself
But don't take too much

The truth is, the song is about money, but also the things it does, and the dangers it poses. Maybe that false sense of security, or of self, that a good run can give a person. But you always have to remember what it is, and where you come from. We're all born without it, even if we come from a family of privilege. But as we grow, so to does it grow a part of us. Billie Holiday grew up without much of it, which no doubt gave her a tremendous respect for what it really means. Going from little of it, to celebrity, must be quite a life experience. When it came, they crowded around to be in its company. When it was gone, so were they. So was that sense it gave us. Just a mirage, temporary like Achilles. We're all cautioned against it, but few listen. Those of us that can are always tempted to partake of our own good fortune, and rightly so. But we always have to temper our enthusiasm with the idea of what it all really means. You can help yourself, but don't take too much. Maybe that means that wise as you may be, no one is immune. The more you get, the further you remove yourself from where we all come from. We just have to remember that you can't buy everything, you can't buy anything that really has its own meaning. Maybe that's what it's all about, the meaning of it all. Meaning, we all need it, we all want it, but you can't really buy it. I guess you just have to have your own. Maybe we're born with it, and the task is simply to hang on for dear life. I can understand that. That makes sense to me. That makes me happy. God Bless the Child.