Just looking around, things are really crazy out here, and it seems like now is as good a time as any to start thinking about somewhere else to set up shop. Things in this country have been devolving for at least the better part of this decade, and I don't know how bright it is to hang around waiting for the knock-out punch.
I'm looking for ideas of a place to go where things are a little more normal and sensible. I want to go back to Japan, it's so clean over there and people are so polite, it's quite a relief. I could learn to speak Japanese, but the broader problem is this: I'm still black, and as such it's gonna be damn near impossible for me to even appear to fit in most places in the world. Some may proclaim that I can always go back to Africa, but being that I've never been, and even if I were to go I have no home country in Africa, not to mention all of the other reasons that a person may choose not to move to Africa in general, that idea can be cast aside as well. So where does that leave us?
Tuesday, October 21, 2008
Sunday, October 19, 2008
American Censorship OR "Just the God"
I was in the car the other day with the radio on when this song came on. I have no idea what the song is called or who made it, but from what I can tell from the little bit I listened to, the singer seems to be very upset at the actions that were taking place in a room nearby with the door open.
"Haven't you people ever heard of closing the --- damn door" the radio asked me. I wonder when it started that they censor the 'god' in the word "goddamn". This isn't meant to be a religious argument, I'm far from the image of piety, but I think it's worth thinking about. Censorship has come a long way in just the time that I can remember. I remember when I was younger you never even heard the word damn on the radio. I even remember there being some kind of controversy when the Fox network let Al Bundy say "bitch" on prime-time TV. Now bitch is everywhere, damn, ass, all of that shit. Profane terms for anatomy don't even bat an eye anymore, "so and so is a dick", "you're such a pussy". The word "tits" is almost ubiquitous on TV these days. Maybe the odd old-timer will shift in their seat a little if they hear the word "pussy", but that's about it. And as the comedian Joe Rogan pointed out, you can still stiffen a few faces by dropping a "cunt" here and there, but even that one has lost a lot of steam since the 80s. The point is it seems like it doesn't take long anymore for people to acclimate to the profane word of the day to the point where sooner or later no one cares, but some of it just doesn't make sense to me.
I remember when Eminem's first song came out when I was in high school. At one point he uses the word "asshole" in the real song, but that one appears to be just barely enough to merit censoring. This was around the time where instead of just blanking the word out, artists were preemptively releasing cleaner, radio friendly versions of their songs. But Eminem, being the sick fuck that he is, replaced "asshole" with "ball sack", and the censor people apparently found this acceptable. And the first time I heard it on the radio I was amazed. Not that I really care either way, but I find ball sack to be a bit more distasteful than asshole. Asshole almost doesn't even mean anything anymore, you hear that shit all the time, but ball-sack?
I guess the radio stations are just trying to keep out of trouble with the censor's and all that, who's job it is to basically respond to the sensibilities of the times and make sure broadcasts stay inside the lines during daylight hours. But is this really the state of things? Do the censors think to themselves, 'People may take offense to our use of the word "goddamn", so how about we take out the "god". Not the damn, not even the whole fucking word. Just the God. I'm just confused, that's all.
"Haven't you people ever heard of closing the --- damn door" the radio asked me. I wonder when it started that they censor the 'god' in the word "goddamn". This isn't meant to be a religious argument, I'm far from the image of piety, but I think it's worth thinking about. Censorship has come a long way in just the time that I can remember. I remember when I was younger you never even heard the word damn on the radio. I even remember there being some kind of controversy when the Fox network let Al Bundy say "bitch" on prime-time TV. Now bitch is everywhere, damn, ass, all of that shit. Profane terms for anatomy don't even bat an eye anymore, "so and so is a dick", "you're such a pussy". The word "tits" is almost ubiquitous on TV these days. Maybe the odd old-timer will shift in their seat a little if they hear the word "pussy", but that's about it. And as the comedian Joe Rogan pointed out, you can still stiffen a few faces by dropping a "cunt" here and there, but even that one has lost a lot of steam since the 80s. The point is it seems like it doesn't take long anymore for people to acclimate to the profane word of the day to the point where sooner or later no one cares, but some of it just doesn't make sense to me.
I remember when Eminem's first song came out when I was in high school. At one point he uses the word "asshole" in the real song, but that one appears to be just barely enough to merit censoring. This was around the time where instead of just blanking the word out, artists were preemptively releasing cleaner, radio friendly versions of their songs. But Eminem, being the sick fuck that he is, replaced "asshole" with "ball sack", and the censor people apparently found this acceptable. And the first time I heard it on the radio I was amazed. Not that I really care either way, but I find ball sack to be a bit more distasteful than asshole. Asshole almost doesn't even mean anything anymore, you hear that shit all the time, but ball-sack?
I guess the radio stations are just trying to keep out of trouble with the censor's and all that, who's job it is to basically respond to the sensibilities of the times and make sure broadcasts stay inside the lines during daylight hours. But is this really the state of things? Do the censors think to themselves, 'People may take offense to our use of the word "goddamn", so how about we take out the "god". Not the damn, not even the whole fucking word. Just the God. I'm just confused, that's all.
Tuesday, September 02, 2008
"...but I'm trying, Ringo."
"It's not that I'm afraid of it, I always knew you had to be willing to die to even do this job. But, I don't want to push my chips forward, and then go out and meet something I don't understand. A man would have to put his soul at hazard. He'd have to say ok...I'll be part of this world."
--No Country for Old Men
A lot of the things I say in this forum overlap, perhaps even to the point of being repetitive. But that's because I decided to keep this record of my thoughts more out of selfishness than anything else. I wanted to be able to look back on it all at some unidentified point in the future. Call it a mental timeline, maybe even a growth chart if I'm lucky.
When all is said and done, I want basically what everyone else does. I want to live a life that's worth bringing others into. But if you're gonna do something like that, you have to do it right.
That means you have to choose very wisely who you bring in. Especially inasmuch as having a family is concerned. I talk a lot about women because I need one for this plan to work. But present times find a lot of substance left to desire. Potential, frozen and wasted. I'm trying not to be such myself, because that's not what I want for my family.
A while back a friend of mine asked me how it is that I, being one of the lazier people I know, find the motivation to go to the gym with any sort of regularity. I told him, that aside from it being good for the health and all of that, I find motivation in that if and when I ever find a woman to settle down with, I'm surely going to encourage that she keep herself in respectable physical condition, so the very least I can do is satisfy my own standards, or at least attempt to so not to be a total hypocrite. The books I read, some of the movies and television I watch, voluntarily subjecting myself to law school, this was not done for my health. Much of that is done with an eye towards preparedness. I read books that I feel like I can learn something from, not just for myself, but because if I have it my way, I will have a family one day, and kids ask a lot of questions. I won't be able to respond to all of them, but I at least have to be able to point them to the answer.
I jam on girls cause I'm sick of this shit. It's bedlam out there. People are walking around talking crazy and acting reckless, thinking of nothing that can't be used for pleasure, hedonism. Acting as if life is a dress rehearsal to a play, and the curtains haven't drawn yet, so in the meantime take whatever role you like. This is wrong. A few weeks ago I met this girl through a friend, also a law student. She spoke of the dearth of suitable young men available these days. I told her that I can imagine her plight. She went on to detail more what she meant by suitable. "Yea, I mean he has to be smart, and have himself together and have an education and a career, and all of that." She paused for a brief return to her Newport 100 cigarette, "...but if the dick ain't all there, neither am I." I nodded and excused myself to the kitchen where I had left a bottle of scotch that suddenly didn't look like it could help me anymore. I worry that I just don't understand, that time waits for no man, and it's snaking, and winding past me. I fear we're putting our souls at hazard.
I do, say, and most certainly think quite a bit about what many people may term 'weird shit'. But I do it all for a reason, or most of it anyway. I try to keep my eyes forward so I can see what's coming. Sometimes my eyes reach far enough to see problems coming, giving me time to swerve out of the way. But some problems are big, bigger than the whole horizon, and you just know that sooner than you think it's gonna be all you can see. That's when the ol' thinker starts kicking in, trying to come up with ways around it, or through it, or if you can't do that, ways to mitigate the damage. The point is, eventually life is gonna become real. A lot more real than it is now, and my actions, the things I do and say and think will stop affecting only me. They will affect those that depend on me. So I simply have to be ready.
So in a nutshell, that's what my aim is, in most of the things I do. I like to think other people are on the same page. But from where I'm standing it's mighty hard to see.
--No Country for Old Men
A lot of the things I say in this forum overlap, perhaps even to the point of being repetitive. But that's because I decided to keep this record of my thoughts more out of selfishness than anything else. I wanted to be able to look back on it all at some unidentified point in the future. Call it a mental timeline, maybe even a growth chart if I'm lucky.
When all is said and done, I want basically what everyone else does. I want to live a life that's worth bringing others into. But if you're gonna do something like that, you have to do it right.
That means you have to choose very wisely who you bring in. Especially inasmuch as having a family is concerned. I talk a lot about women because I need one for this plan to work. But present times find a lot of substance left to desire. Potential, frozen and wasted. I'm trying not to be such myself, because that's not what I want for my family.
A while back a friend of mine asked me how it is that I, being one of the lazier people I know, find the motivation to go to the gym with any sort of regularity. I told him, that aside from it being good for the health and all of that, I find motivation in that if and when I ever find a woman to settle down with, I'm surely going to encourage that she keep herself in respectable physical condition, so the very least I can do is satisfy my own standards, or at least attempt to so not to be a total hypocrite. The books I read, some of the movies and television I watch, voluntarily subjecting myself to law school, this was not done for my health. Much of that is done with an eye towards preparedness. I read books that I feel like I can learn something from, not just for myself, but because if I have it my way, I will have a family one day, and kids ask a lot of questions. I won't be able to respond to all of them, but I at least have to be able to point them to the answer.
I jam on girls cause I'm sick of this shit. It's bedlam out there. People are walking around talking crazy and acting reckless, thinking of nothing that can't be used for pleasure, hedonism. Acting as if life is a dress rehearsal to a play, and the curtains haven't drawn yet, so in the meantime take whatever role you like. This is wrong. A few weeks ago I met this girl through a friend, also a law student. She spoke of the dearth of suitable young men available these days. I told her that I can imagine her plight. She went on to detail more what she meant by suitable. "Yea, I mean he has to be smart, and have himself together and have an education and a career, and all of that." She paused for a brief return to her Newport 100 cigarette, "...but if the dick ain't all there, neither am I." I nodded and excused myself to the kitchen where I had left a bottle of scotch that suddenly didn't look like it could help me anymore. I worry that I just don't understand, that time waits for no man, and it's snaking, and winding past me. I fear we're putting our souls at hazard.
I do, say, and most certainly think quite a bit about what many people may term 'weird shit'. But I do it all for a reason, or most of it anyway. I try to keep my eyes forward so I can see what's coming. Sometimes my eyes reach far enough to see problems coming, giving me time to swerve out of the way. But some problems are big, bigger than the whole horizon, and you just know that sooner than you think it's gonna be all you can see. That's when the ol' thinker starts kicking in, trying to come up with ways around it, or through it, or if you can't do that, ways to mitigate the damage. The point is, eventually life is gonna become real. A lot more real than it is now, and my actions, the things I do and say and think will stop affecting only me. They will affect those that depend on me. So I simply have to be ready.
So in a nutshell, that's what my aim is, in most of the things I do. I like to think other people are on the same page. But from where I'm standing it's mighty hard to see.
Thursday, May 01, 2008
A Sequel: Things Men Shouldn't Be Allowed To Do. OR "Girls Best Friend"
"I'm sorry ma'am, you're right, you're not a whore. But you're certainly wearing a whore's uniform."
-- Dave Chappelle
If you look it up, you will probably find that in American culture, the most consistent demographic reservoir for decorative earring has generally been women. There was a phenomenon during the sixties where it gained popularity amongst the sailor, hipster, and homosexual scenes respectively. But it has generally always been more popular among women to wear decorative piercings in the ear.
I think in the culture of the modern American male, it really started to take off in popularity mostly as a way to draw attention to oneself. From there, it slowly evolved from a mere attempt at distinction, into useful surface area for displaying one's wealth of disposable income. This is all fine, but within the last decade or two I think the general acceptance of earrings and jewelry on men collided and multiplied with what has been noted by some scholars as the feminization of American culture. This is where I begin to see a problem.
Men are becoming more and more like women, and I personally think this is not really a good thing. You don't have to look far today to find an example of a man exhibiting behavior that was historically thought of to be effeminate. I'm not meaning to talk about sexuality and all of that, just human behavior, specifically as it pertains to certain portions of the modern male population. Turn on the TV during any celebrity event, or watch a music video channel for long enough and you will surely see a man somewhere, donning more decorative jewels than Liberace himself ever embraced.
Necklaces, (or chains as they call them so they don't feel gay), earrings, bracelets, rings on every finger. Diamonds, diamonds, everywhere. Sure they're nice, they're shiny, they're valuable, but what does the diamond industry call them? The people who make their living mining, cutting, polishing, fixing and selling diamonds, how did they first choose to market them? "A girl's best friend." Not a guy's best friend. And the reason for that is, they were really meant for women. Women love diamonds, it's a fact. Now, men love diamonds too. But that's fine, I'm not hating, go right ahead if you're a man that just happens to be into jewels. But don't stop there, why not grab yourself a nice fur while you're at it. Mink, coon, chinchilla, pick one. Any fur coat you like fellas, have one, you deserve it, you've earned the money, you might as well blow it to show it.
In my 25 years of life, I can remember a time when it was almost unheard of for a man to wear a fur coat. Now, no one really bats an eye. Why? Well obviously something happened, but what was it?
I've now had several conversations with girls where I have been told that one thing they're noticing more and more is that as they put it, "guys are getting way too emotional and sensitive." There it is again, more words being used to describe guys that even now if heard on their own almost always invoke an image of the opposite sex. Yet, it's being applied to the male of the species. What's going on?
As I generally don't really notice details about men's faces it took another young lady to point out to me that a young gentleman we both know has taken to arching his eyebrows. Wow, I thought. I would have never noticed that. Nor would I have ever thought that a man would do such a thing, especially a man who is ostensibly into women. In fact I don't think I'd ever used the words 'arch' and 'eyebrows' in the same sentence before that point.
Two of my female law school classmates have independently made me aware of an even more fascinating trend. Apparently it is becoming commonplace for guys to say to them, (upon learning of their status as future attorneys which is often intimately tied to the notion of making lots of money however wrong it may be), "Oh you're in law school? I better hurry up and get you pregnant." I still don't want to believe it, but I can see that happening, and this is terrible. This is terrible because it use to be strictly the province of women to use sex/creating children as a means of securing a man's financial resources for her kids'/her own benefit. And this is much easier for them to do as they are the ones who actually make the kids. Now, apparently the shoe has switched feet.
My point is this, men are men, and women are women. Everyone is born with one role or the other. If they start blending into one, where does that leave us? Wherever that is, the only thing I know for sure is that I need to be elsewhere.
Gentleman, fellas, boys, whatever, sooner or later you gotta man up.
-- Dave Chappelle
If you look it up, you will probably find that in American culture, the most consistent demographic reservoir for decorative earring has generally been women. There was a phenomenon during the sixties where it gained popularity amongst the sailor, hipster, and homosexual scenes respectively. But it has generally always been more popular among women to wear decorative piercings in the ear.
I think in the culture of the modern American male, it really started to take off in popularity mostly as a way to draw attention to oneself. From there, it slowly evolved from a mere attempt at distinction, into useful surface area for displaying one's wealth of disposable income. This is all fine, but within the last decade or two I think the general acceptance of earrings and jewelry on men collided and multiplied with what has been noted by some scholars as the feminization of American culture. This is where I begin to see a problem.
Men are becoming more and more like women, and I personally think this is not really a good thing. You don't have to look far today to find an example of a man exhibiting behavior that was historically thought of to be effeminate. I'm not meaning to talk about sexuality and all of that, just human behavior, specifically as it pertains to certain portions of the modern male population. Turn on the TV during any celebrity event, or watch a music video channel for long enough and you will surely see a man somewhere, donning more decorative jewels than Liberace himself ever embraced.
Necklaces, (or chains as they call them so they don't feel gay), earrings, bracelets, rings on every finger. Diamonds, diamonds, everywhere. Sure they're nice, they're shiny, they're valuable, but what does the diamond industry call them? The people who make their living mining, cutting, polishing, fixing and selling diamonds, how did they first choose to market them? "A girl's best friend." Not a guy's best friend. And the reason for that is, they were really meant for women. Women love diamonds, it's a fact. Now, men love diamonds too. But that's fine, I'm not hating, go right ahead if you're a man that just happens to be into jewels. But don't stop there, why not grab yourself a nice fur while you're at it. Mink, coon, chinchilla, pick one. Any fur coat you like fellas, have one, you deserve it, you've earned the money, you might as well blow it to show it.
In my 25 years of life, I can remember a time when it was almost unheard of for a man to wear a fur coat. Now, no one really bats an eye. Why? Well obviously something happened, but what was it?
I've now had several conversations with girls where I have been told that one thing they're noticing more and more is that as they put it, "guys are getting way too emotional and sensitive." There it is again, more words being used to describe guys that even now if heard on their own almost always invoke an image of the opposite sex. Yet, it's being applied to the male of the species. What's going on?
As I generally don't really notice details about men's faces it took another young lady to point out to me that a young gentleman we both know has taken to arching his eyebrows. Wow, I thought. I would have never noticed that. Nor would I have ever thought that a man would do such a thing, especially a man who is ostensibly into women. In fact I don't think I'd ever used the words 'arch' and 'eyebrows' in the same sentence before that point.
Two of my female law school classmates have independently made me aware of an even more fascinating trend. Apparently it is becoming commonplace for guys to say to them, (upon learning of their status as future attorneys which is often intimately tied to the notion of making lots of money however wrong it may be), "Oh you're in law school? I better hurry up and get you pregnant." I still don't want to believe it, but I can see that happening, and this is terrible. This is terrible because it use to be strictly the province of women to use sex/creating children as a means of securing a man's financial resources for her kids'/her own benefit. And this is much easier for them to do as they are the ones who actually make the kids. Now, apparently the shoe has switched feet.
My point is this, men are men, and women are women. Everyone is born with one role or the other. If they start blending into one, where does that leave us? Wherever that is, the only thing I know for sure is that I need to be elsewhere.
Gentleman, fellas, boys, whatever, sooner or later you gotta man up.
Wednesday, April 16, 2008
Nothing Makes Sense Anymore: We All Need Help
"I'm done with Baltimore."
-- Witness
Everyday during school I flip through my usual website roster just to keep abreast of what's going on in the world. I check espn.com to see what's going on in the football and college basketball, the Orioles while they're still above 500 which I'm surprised they are so late into April, and whatever else ESPN tells me I should be paying attention to. I check cnn.com to see if anything terrible has happened while I was sleeping, then I check the BBC Americas page to get a more realistic view of things. Then, I take a deep breath, try to mentally prepare myself and hope for the best as I check the website that is literally closest to home, baltimoresun.com.
My God, what is the world coming to. It's getting so I can't even look at the Baltimore news anymore without wanting to just pack up all my shit and move as far away as I can. It's not just Baltimore in all fairness, just check the US news section on CNN if you don't believe me, but damned if Baltimore isn't making it that much worse. For the second consecutive day I was hit first thing in the morning with a story about a teenager who should have been in school getting caught on the wrong end of a firearm. Yesterday morning it was a 14 year old girl getting shot in a rowhouse in east Baltimore, allegedly by an 18 year old suspect.
"The victim was identified as Shawndreta Griffin of the 1900 block of McCulloh St., a seventh-grader at Booker T. Washington Middle School. The shooting occurred after 9 a.m. in the 1900 block of N. Patterson Park Ave., where several dilapidated houses have been demolished.
Neighbors and passers-by gathered behind yellow crime-scene tape as about 25 police cadets searched vacant lots and alleys for the weapon police believe was used in the shooting.
Malachi Williams Jr., who was doing construction work in a car wash nearby, said he had seen six or seven children being led by police officers out of the rowhouse and into vehicles."
I remember when I was little watching my grandmother as she watched the news and shake her head in sorrowful disbelief. I wondered to myself, how can she even bring herself to care? She doesn't know these people, and in my childlike mind they seemed so far removed from my own life as to not even be a part of reality. As I have grown older, I think her view is beginning to come into focus for me. This shit is terrible. Even in a terrible story like this is more terrible shit lying between the lines. What the fuck is a seventh grader doing at home at 9 in the morning on a Monday? And her 18 year old shooter, what? Who gets into violent disputes before they're even done serving breakfast at McDonald's?
Today I checked hoping to maybe see something hopeful on the front page, nope, wrong.
Boy, 15, Shot in Face in West Baltimore. Police swarm neighborhood; Officer was shot in same area yesterday.
"A 15-year-old boy was shot in the face about 9:30 a.m. today in West Baltimore, and three schools in the area were placed on lockdown, according to city police and city school officials. The victim is likely to recover, a police spokeswoman said."
9:30 am, really? Not that anytime is a good time to get shot in the face, but for real. What is possibly going on that you've already resorted gun violence at 9:30 am? There's no logical justification for it. Life is just getting beyond reason, and that's how you know something really, really radical is going to happen in the near future that's going to change everything, because it pretty much has to.
A long time ago I used to be anti-guns, anti-death penalty, all of that shit, and I had my justification. The death penalty just seems inherently hypocritical to me, and I can't resolve that philosphical gap in my own mind to this day, but somewhere along the line philosophy gets driven off the road by practicality. Some people are just too much to be allowed to run loose in the world, even within the confines of the prison system. And here are my two cents on an issue I believe the Supreme Court will soon be hearing this term; the death penalty should not be reserved for those convicted of homicide. These people who like molesting kids are far more deserving of it in my opinion but that's a whole other topic.
Everybody is simply going apeshit. I don't know if it's all the greasy food and preservatives, if it's the repetitive skull numbing music, if it's Dr. Phil's fault or what, but something is going wrong, big time, and we all just seem to be far too accepting of it.
I used to be opposed to owning guns but I'm certainly not anymore, because they have guns, and they are crazy. And every time I leave my bedroom, I'm entering their domain where apparently anything can happen first thing in the morning. If this is the situation then just like Omar said, "The game is out there, and it's play or get played." But what kind of fucked up shit is this to have to deal with. A world where everybody has guns? Guns that have triggers, and all it takes is an index finger to pull it, and when you pull it a bullet flies out. A bullet is a piece of metal, rounded and shaped to fly through the air, spiraling for accuracy, and sometimes hollowed out so that when they reach your target, they collapse broadening and roughening their piercing end so that they won't exit the target, but will stay inside piercing and tearing tissue and vital organs, which will render your target seriously incapacitated, if not mortally wounded. And why you might ask is this the case? Who knows, but apparently you can piss people off enough before the suns even all the way out of bed for them to point one of these things at you and let fly.
This is craziness. Bill of rights enthusiasts will tell you that it's their right to bear arms and that they understand how to use them and would only do so if they felt threatened. I personally take the Seinfeld view on this, "People with guns don't understand. That's why they get guns, too many misunderstandings." Yet, while I hold this belief, I certainly don't want to be the one caught naked when everybody outside has all their clothes on, and an angry look on their face. What's a man to do? Stop reading the news maybe. At least then you won't see it coming.
I think the biggest mistake we all make is seeing this stuff happen, and watching the news like it's a documentary on Aids in Africa, like it will never affect us. The other day I was sitting outside of my house in Carlisle, PA, miles away from anything of significance to people who have grown up in a real city. I was double parked for convenience, but the street was wide enough for two cars to fit through even with cars parked along both curbs. Within 2 minutes, two people drove by honking their horns, one of them slowed down as they drove by to peer into the car and see who was there, as if to say "What is your problem, city boy?" The second guy even pulled over on the other side of the street, got out of his car leered over to try and scare us off I suppose. I remember thinking; these poor idiots have no idea what's going on in the world. I felt this way because I know for a fact, that just less than an hour and change south of Carlisle, there is a city where one can find themself rendered lifeless for committing such an act. Stopping and looking into cars at people you don't know is an action that can cost you your life in many parts of this fascinating country, but these people only see and hear about that on the news if at all. The news is no barrier to reality, I just hope these people don't carry their antiquated country habits too far into modern territory. God knows what will happen when these two borders eventually meet.
-- Witness
Everyday during school I flip through my usual website roster just to keep abreast of what's going on in the world. I check espn.com to see what's going on in the football and college basketball, the Orioles while they're still above 500 which I'm surprised they are so late into April, and whatever else ESPN tells me I should be paying attention to. I check cnn.com to see if anything terrible has happened while I was sleeping, then I check the BBC Americas page to get a more realistic view of things. Then, I take a deep breath, try to mentally prepare myself and hope for the best as I check the website that is literally closest to home, baltimoresun.com.
My God, what is the world coming to. It's getting so I can't even look at the Baltimore news anymore without wanting to just pack up all my shit and move as far away as I can. It's not just Baltimore in all fairness, just check the US news section on CNN if you don't believe me, but damned if Baltimore isn't making it that much worse. For the second consecutive day I was hit first thing in the morning with a story about a teenager who should have been in school getting caught on the wrong end of a firearm. Yesterday morning it was a 14 year old girl getting shot in a rowhouse in east Baltimore, allegedly by an 18 year old suspect.
"The victim was identified as Shawndreta Griffin of the 1900 block of McCulloh St., a seventh-grader at Booker T. Washington Middle School. The shooting occurred after 9 a.m. in the 1900 block of N. Patterson Park Ave., where several dilapidated houses have been demolished.
Neighbors and passers-by gathered behind yellow crime-scene tape as about 25 police cadets searched vacant lots and alleys for the weapon police believe was used in the shooting.
Malachi Williams Jr., who was doing construction work in a car wash nearby, said he had seen six or seven children being led by police officers out of the rowhouse and into vehicles."
I remember when I was little watching my grandmother as she watched the news and shake her head in sorrowful disbelief. I wondered to myself, how can she even bring herself to care? She doesn't know these people, and in my childlike mind they seemed so far removed from my own life as to not even be a part of reality. As I have grown older, I think her view is beginning to come into focus for me. This shit is terrible. Even in a terrible story like this is more terrible shit lying between the lines. What the fuck is a seventh grader doing at home at 9 in the morning on a Monday? And her 18 year old shooter, what? Who gets into violent disputes before they're even done serving breakfast at McDonald's?
Today I checked hoping to maybe see something hopeful on the front page, nope, wrong.
Boy, 15, Shot in Face in West Baltimore. Police swarm neighborhood; Officer was shot in same area yesterday.
"A 15-year-old boy was shot in the face about 9:30 a.m. today in West Baltimore, and three schools in the area were placed on lockdown, according to city police and city school officials. The victim is likely to recover, a police spokeswoman said."
9:30 am, really? Not that anytime is a good time to get shot in the face, but for real. What is possibly going on that you've already resorted gun violence at 9:30 am? There's no logical justification for it. Life is just getting beyond reason, and that's how you know something really, really radical is going to happen in the near future that's going to change everything, because it pretty much has to.
A long time ago I used to be anti-guns, anti-death penalty, all of that shit, and I had my justification. The death penalty just seems inherently hypocritical to me, and I can't resolve that philosphical gap in my own mind to this day, but somewhere along the line philosophy gets driven off the road by practicality. Some people are just too much to be allowed to run loose in the world, even within the confines of the prison system. And here are my two cents on an issue I believe the Supreme Court will soon be hearing this term; the death penalty should not be reserved for those convicted of homicide. These people who like molesting kids are far more deserving of it in my opinion but that's a whole other topic.
Everybody is simply going apeshit. I don't know if it's all the greasy food and preservatives, if it's the repetitive skull numbing music, if it's Dr. Phil's fault or what, but something is going wrong, big time, and we all just seem to be far too accepting of it.
I used to be opposed to owning guns but I'm certainly not anymore, because they have guns, and they are crazy. And every time I leave my bedroom, I'm entering their domain where apparently anything can happen first thing in the morning. If this is the situation then just like Omar said, "The game is out there, and it's play or get played." But what kind of fucked up shit is this to have to deal with. A world where everybody has guns? Guns that have triggers, and all it takes is an index finger to pull it, and when you pull it a bullet flies out. A bullet is a piece of metal, rounded and shaped to fly through the air, spiraling for accuracy, and sometimes hollowed out so that when they reach your target, they collapse broadening and roughening their piercing end so that they won't exit the target, but will stay inside piercing and tearing tissue and vital organs, which will render your target seriously incapacitated, if not mortally wounded. And why you might ask is this the case? Who knows, but apparently you can piss people off enough before the suns even all the way out of bed for them to point one of these things at you and let fly.
This is craziness. Bill of rights enthusiasts will tell you that it's their right to bear arms and that they understand how to use them and would only do so if they felt threatened. I personally take the Seinfeld view on this, "People with guns don't understand. That's why they get guns, too many misunderstandings." Yet, while I hold this belief, I certainly don't want to be the one caught naked when everybody outside has all their clothes on, and an angry look on their face. What's a man to do? Stop reading the news maybe. At least then you won't see it coming.
I think the biggest mistake we all make is seeing this stuff happen, and watching the news like it's a documentary on Aids in Africa, like it will never affect us. The other day I was sitting outside of my house in Carlisle, PA, miles away from anything of significance to people who have grown up in a real city. I was double parked for convenience, but the street was wide enough for two cars to fit through even with cars parked along both curbs. Within 2 minutes, two people drove by honking their horns, one of them slowed down as they drove by to peer into the car and see who was there, as if to say "What is your problem, city boy?" The second guy even pulled over on the other side of the street, got out of his car leered over to try and scare us off I suppose. I remember thinking; these poor idiots have no idea what's going on in the world. I felt this way because I know for a fact, that just less than an hour and change south of Carlisle, there is a city where one can find themself rendered lifeless for committing such an act. Stopping and looking into cars at people you don't know is an action that can cost you your life in many parts of this fascinating country, but these people only see and hear about that on the news if at all. The news is no barrier to reality, I just hope these people don't carry their antiquated country habits too far into modern territory. God knows what will happen when these two borders eventually meet.
Sunday, April 06, 2008
Stop Acting Skinny
"How was work today, honey?"
"Oh, just another episode of 'A fat woman clip-clopped into the shoe store today.'"
-- Al Bundy
As someone who likes to think of myself as somewhat of a humanitarian, and moreover as a person whose physical dimensions fall somewhat shy of superficially ideal, far-be-it for me to criticize someone else for their morphological short-comings.
I lie, I jam on funny-looking people all the time, but not out of pure mean-spiritedness if that counts for anything. Most of my ire is directed at those peculiar lookers who display a manner of a person much more normal looking than themselves, an air of arrogance even.
The other day, as I was leaving the library on the Dickinson College campus, I spotted what is not a totally unusual sight these days, a lesbian couple. But these were no ordinary lesbians, they were a pair of chubsters. I really have nothing in particular against hefty women, many of them that I have known have been amongst the more pleasant individuals that I've met. But every now and then, you run across a sour apple who just messes up everything for the rest of the barrell. These two girls appeared to be just such apples. I know I didn't talk to them, or get to know them or any of that blah blah that people say you should do before you go and judge somebody but fuck that, some shit is just too much.
The pair sashayed down the street holding hands in a most conspicuous fashion, almost as if they were purposely drawing attention to themselves. Compound that with the fact that in my humblest of estimations there was about 5 and a half to 6 hundred of the old L B's between the two of them, and you have quite a sight strolling down the street on a nice cool spring day. Many may say, what is so wrong with that, what is your problem with a couple of chubby lesbians enjoying a nice romantic stroll? Here is my problem.
The one on the right was fairly normal looking for a person, but her girlfriend with whom she shared periodic romantic pecks on the neck in just the short period of time that I could watch was quite a different story. If the visual of the neck kissing isn't enough to turn you off, note this. This young person was about 5'6", had the abdominal girth of an NFL guard, wearing the pants that cut-off at the calf and looked like they were supposed to be the loose kind, but they were obviously not contemplated for someone of such impressive mass. Her peeled back 3 inch pony-tail was just barely visible beneath the bill of her backwards green army camouflage baseball cap, with a bright pink adjustable strap in the front right above her considerable, cro-magnon forehead. She sported a pair of what I imagine were at some point flip-flops that were now hanging on to their last shred of existence clanging to the bottoms of her hobbit feet. All the while she strolled along loudly reciting some indecipherable song lyrics I couldn't recognize. I only guessed it was a song because of the strange bopping back and forth to some imaginary beat that she was doing, that only served to enhance the already plentiful gyrating cellulose visible beneath her overly tight clothing. But the piece that really set me off was this. She had on a shirt, the shirt looked to be more than big enough to house her upper body in it's entirety, yet inexplicably it was rolled up exposing her midriff.
Midriff is a word that should only be used to describe the exposed abdominal region of a young woman who has prioritized her physical health somewhere ahead of obscene amounts of Hagen-Dazs, and recreational beer and burger binges, which are my only guess as to how two people like this could grow so large.
I really don't mean to be hating on fat women, but this was one of the most ridiculous sights I have ever laid my eyes on. If this girl got down on all fours her stomach would have definitely dragged along the sidewalk, yet she felt confident enough to deliberately expose her saturated, dracula-pale belly for all passers-by to see. Which they all did, many stopping and turning after the couple walked by, sporting expressions on their faces that embodied the very words that I am now writing.
Be realistic, please. It's one thing to be fat, fine, I'm hardly in a position to criticize, but don't try to act skinny. It's not self-righteous to display a body you know no one wants to see, you're not embracing your identity, or doing any other corny Dr. Phil shit by showing off how comfortable you are being considerably overweight. Please, just stop, think, breathe, and put on clothes that were made for you.
On a related note, I was at the pool the other day and saw another very large woman in a bikini.
I have no problem with big women swimming. But come on now. And who even makes bikinis in size super-big? Why even leave the option really, it's socially irresponsible to walk around like that. You're nothing but a big walking target for snickering and laughs and mimicked-vomiting motions, all of which I saw and none of which were perpetrated by me. All of this could have been avoided by just sticking to the script. You're big, you want to swim, fine. Just don't go apeshit and pretend you feel fine putting all that out there for everyone to see. It's really just too much.
"Oh, just another episode of 'A fat woman clip-clopped into the shoe store today.'"
-- Al Bundy
As someone who likes to think of myself as somewhat of a humanitarian, and moreover as a person whose physical dimensions fall somewhat shy of superficially ideal, far-be-it for me to criticize someone else for their morphological short-comings.
I lie, I jam on funny-looking people all the time, but not out of pure mean-spiritedness if that counts for anything. Most of my ire is directed at those peculiar lookers who display a manner of a person much more normal looking than themselves, an air of arrogance even.
The other day, as I was leaving the library on the Dickinson College campus, I spotted what is not a totally unusual sight these days, a lesbian couple. But these were no ordinary lesbians, they were a pair of chubsters. I really have nothing in particular against hefty women, many of them that I have known have been amongst the more pleasant individuals that I've met. But every now and then, you run across a sour apple who just messes up everything for the rest of the barrell. These two girls appeared to be just such apples. I know I didn't talk to them, or get to know them or any of that blah blah that people say you should do before you go and judge somebody but fuck that, some shit is just too much.
The pair sashayed down the street holding hands in a most conspicuous fashion, almost as if they were purposely drawing attention to themselves. Compound that with the fact that in my humblest of estimations there was about 5 and a half to 6 hundred of the old L B's between the two of them, and you have quite a sight strolling down the street on a nice cool spring day. Many may say, what is so wrong with that, what is your problem with a couple of chubby lesbians enjoying a nice romantic stroll? Here is my problem.
The one on the right was fairly normal looking for a person, but her girlfriend with whom she shared periodic romantic pecks on the neck in just the short period of time that I could watch was quite a different story. If the visual of the neck kissing isn't enough to turn you off, note this. This young person was about 5'6", had the abdominal girth of an NFL guard, wearing the pants that cut-off at the calf and looked like they were supposed to be the loose kind, but they were obviously not contemplated for someone of such impressive mass. Her peeled back 3 inch pony-tail was just barely visible beneath the bill of her backwards green army camouflage baseball cap, with a bright pink adjustable strap in the front right above her considerable, cro-magnon forehead. She sported a pair of what I imagine were at some point flip-flops that were now hanging on to their last shred of existence clanging to the bottoms of her hobbit feet. All the while she strolled along loudly reciting some indecipherable song lyrics I couldn't recognize. I only guessed it was a song because of the strange bopping back and forth to some imaginary beat that she was doing, that only served to enhance the already plentiful gyrating cellulose visible beneath her overly tight clothing. But the piece that really set me off was this. She had on a shirt, the shirt looked to be more than big enough to house her upper body in it's entirety, yet inexplicably it was rolled up exposing her midriff.
Midriff is a word that should only be used to describe the exposed abdominal region of a young woman who has prioritized her physical health somewhere ahead of obscene amounts of Hagen-Dazs, and recreational beer and burger binges, which are my only guess as to how two people like this could grow so large.
I really don't mean to be hating on fat women, but this was one of the most ridiculous sights I have ever laid my eyes on. If this girl got down on all fours her stomach would have definitely dragged along the sidewalk, yet she felt confident enough to deliberately expose her saturated, dracula-pale belly for all passers-by to see. Which they all did, many stopping and turning after the couple walked by, sporting expressions on their faces that embodied the very words that I am now writing.
Be realistic, please. It's one thing to be fat, fine, I'm hardly in a position to criticize, but don't try to act skinny. It's not self-righteous to display a body you know no one wants to see, you're not embracing your identity, or doing any other corny Dr. Phil shit by showing off how comfortable you are being considerably overweight. Please, just stop, think, breathe, and put on clothes that were made for you.
On a related note, I was at the pool the other day and saw another very large woman in a bikini.
I have no problem with big women swimming. But come on now. And who even makes bikinis in size super-big? Why even leave the option really, it's socially irresponsible to walk around like that. You're nothing but a big walking target for snickering and laughs and mimicked-vomiting motions, all of which I saw and none of which were perpetrated by me. All of this could have been avoided by just sticking to the script. You're big, you want to swim, fine. Just don't go apeshit and pretend you feel fine putting all that out there for everyone to see. It's really just too much.
Saturday, March 29, 2008
Celebrities Do Dumb Shit
"Can't turn a hoe into a housewife."
--Tupac Shakur
A little while ago, a friend of mine sent me a text message that read "Kim K. is going to insure her ass. Lol." I really don't give a fuck about celebrity news in any sense of the word. In fact I try to avoid learning anything about these peoples personal lives if I can, because I just don't care. And out of all the things in the world that I despise, there is little I hate more than these people who make their living being "Celebrity Experts". The Joan Rivers and and whoever else does it that know all the info on people with money and status, and apparently no sense of propriety or shame. As far as her insuring her ass, whatever truth there is to this statement, they only do it for publicity, so it doesn't really deserve any more of a mention than that.
I really disapprove of people like Kim Kardashian being celebrities inasmuch as it extends past what she does best, posing for provocative pictures. That's all she is, a girl who has been blessed with a nice face and a voluptuous body. Outside of that, she's nothing as far as I'm concerned. I learned recently that there is a show entitled Keeping Up With the Kardashians. It occurs to me that any real popular following this family has incurred has happened almost entirely as a result of Ms. Kim's having been spotted all over the internet fellating one of her boyfriends.
How her family is able to sleep at night capitalizing off of this, what has to be a personal horror, I have no idea. Good thing for her father he's not here to see this, but I'm sure he's doing somersaults in his grave knowing that his family is now famous because his daughter is all over the internet 'S'-ing and 'F'-ing a black 'D' for all to see. Every fathers dream.
While I'm on the topic, I can't support Reggie Bush anymore, and this will be the last of the celebrity talk I do. Did he even have parents? How could a mother, father, step-parent, cousin, anyone let one of their relatives go out and publicly put their mouth on an internet porn-star? Out of all the broads in all the world a Reggie Bush could land, this is what you come up with? I guess at this day and age damn near everybody is someone else's leftovers, but damn. At least normal people are generally afforded the luxury of not having the whole world offered visual proof of her giving her body away like a tax rebate.
How can you wife up a girl who's been whored out on the internet? Seriously. She's hot, sure, can't really take that away from her, but worthless. She is devoid of all worth now. Pretty much every girl I know, none of them really being on her level appearance-wise (all apologies) can take pride in knowing that they are far more appealing than her in every meaningful aspect. Whoever said looks aren't everything saw deeply into life, and this may be the crowning example. As physically attractive as she is, I, Mike Brown, all 5'7" 200 lbs of me that sits beneath a receded hairline, and would need a new word 3 steps above lucky to describe the state of affairs were I able to land a girl of her physical stature, could not possibly justify wifing her.
I will admit, as far as women are concerned looks definitely count quite a bit, but not enough compensate in her case. I can already hear the most cynical of my male counterparts chiding me for acting like I wouldn't give her a run if I had the chance. This argument is invalid, because that's not even the point. You'd be hard pressed to find a man anywhere who wouldn't, that's just what men do, but I damn sure wouldn't put my name on her because I have parents. A brother, a sister, a family that expects things from me. Moreover I have a stomach that churns at the idea of a woman I will give my name to being on the internet on all fours, mouth agape waiting for the inevitable. Pardon the visual, but she did it, not me.
Somebody please talk to the boy Reggie, he's a role model now, kids are looking up to him. "Keep yo heart 3-stacks." She ain't the one.
--Tupac Shakur
A little while ago, a friend of mine sent me a text message that read "Kim K. is going to insure her ass. Lol." I really don't give a fuck about celebrity news in any sense of the word. In fact I try to avoid learning anything about these peoples personal lives if I can, because I just don't care. And out of all the things in the world that I despise, there is little I hate more than these people who make their living being "Celebrity Experts". The Joan Rivers and and whoever else does it that know all the info on people with money and status, and apparently no sense of propriety or shame. As far as her insuring her ass, whatever truth there is to this statement, they only do it for publicity, so it doesn't really deserve any more of a mention than that.
I really disapprove of people like Kim Kardashian being celebrities inasmuch as it extends past what she does best, posing for provocative pictures. That's all she is, a girl who has been blessed with a nice face and a voluptuous body. Outside of that, she's nothing as far as I'm concerned. I learned recently that there is a show entitled Keeping Up With the Kardashians. It occurs to me that any real popular following this family has incurred has happened almost entirely as a result of Ms. Kim's having been spotted all over the internet fellating one of her boyfriends.
How her family is able to sleep at night capitalizing off of this, what has to be a personal horror, I have no idea. Good thing for her father he's not here to see this, but I'm sure he's doing somersaults in his grave knowing that his family is now famous because his daughter is all over the internet 'S'-ing and 'F'-ing a black 'D' for all to see. Every fathers dream.
While I'm on the topic, I can't support Reggie Bush anymore, and this will be the last of the celebrity talk I do. Did he even have parents? How could a mother, father, step-parent, cousin, anyone let one of their relatives go out and publicly put their mouth on an internet porn-star? Out of all the broads in all the world a Reggie Bush could land, this is what you come up with? I guess at this day and age damn near everybody is someone else's leftovers, but damn. At least normal people are generally afforded the luxury of not having the whole world offered visual proof of her giving her body away like a tax rebate.
How can you wife up a girl who's been whored out on the internet? Seriously. She's hot, sure, can't really take that away from her, but worthless. She is devoid of all worth now. Pretty much every girl I know, none of them really being on her level appearance-wise (all apologies) can take pride in knowing that they are far more appealing than her in every meaningful aspect. Whoever said looks aren't everything saw deeply into life, and this may be the crowning example. As physically attractive as she is, I, Mike Brown, all 5'7" 200 lbs of me that sits beneath a receded hairline, and would need a new word 3 steps above lucky to describe the state of affairs were I able to land a girl of her physical stature, could not possibly justify wifing her.
I will admit, as far as women are concerned looks definitely count quite a bit, but not enough compensate in her case. I can already hear the most cynical of my male counterparts chiding me for acting like I wouldn't give her a run if I had the chance. This argument is invalid, because that's not even the point. You'd be hard pressed to find a man anywhere who wouldn't, that's just what men do, but I damn sure wouldn't put my name on her because I have parents. A brother, a sister, a family that expects things from me. Moreover I have a stomach that churns at the idea of a woman I will give my name to being on the internet on all fours, mouth agape waiting for the inevitable. Pardon the visual, but she did it, not me.
Somebody please talk to the boy Reggie, he's a role model now, kids are looking up to him. "Keep yo heart 3-stacks." She ain't the one.
Wednesday, March 26, 2008
Guess Who's Coming to Dinner
"If one of my sisters ever brought home a fuckin' butterhead you know what my ol' man woulda done?"
--Tony Soprano
Butterhead, that's a good one, never heard that one before. I imagine it's probably because it arose in the 70's, back when disco and afro-sheen were in style.
If you do a Google search on ethnic slurs, the second page you get is aptly labeled "ethnic slurs by ethnicity". I did just such a search a few months ago, suspecting that I would find a trend, and sure enough my expectations were met. There they have a list of derogatory terms for people of all different ethnicities and religions, but you may notice one particular group of people has considerably more entries than the others, can you guess which group that is? Of course it's black people, or "African Descent" as Wikipedia phrases it with the utmost respect for political correctness.
The reason I began looking into this matter is because it seems rather obvious that black people are among the most maligned cultures in all of society, and the reasoning behind it fascinates me. I'm not sure of exactly why that is, or more specifically when it happened, and I haven't yet come to a concrete theory of my own so I'm open to suggestions, but I find the allure of understanding why, and how it became so widespread and pervasive to be well worth investigating.
The main thing that got me thinking about this topic is that we live in a time where it has become increasingly common for people to enter into interracial relationships. For example, I have two close female friends who are simultaneously working their way out of relationships that were probably ill-fated from the outset, largely for the very reasons that are the topic of my curiosity today.These two young ladies hail from two completely different ethnic backgrounds, both with parents who are from other countries, which makes their disinclination towards integrating black in-laws particularly strong in my experience.
I wondered, why is that? What happened, and when, that allowed black people the inglorious distinction of being the most unwanted in-laws of all time. Personally I've never been an official participant in an interracial relationship, however I do suffer from a penetrating adoration of the female form, so who knows where that will take me. But, ask your average man with a daughter going off to college what his recurring nightmare is that doesn't involve grim death, and I would wager that often enough that nightmare would be said daughter coming home with her new college boyfriend, who just happens to have a little more epidermal pigment than her father's taste permits. Now mind you, I'll be the first to say that black people, particularly African-American culture, certainly has it's bald-spots, but then who doesn't? Maybe ours are just the most conspicuous, but even that alone can't justify the apparently deep-seeded aversion. It far out-dates the advent of the internet and modern media in my estimation, so it can't be blamed on that.
Back to my two young lady friends, the details of the demise of their respective relationships are strikingly similar, beyond being skin deep. A few of the common details were, "I love him but I know my parents never will." "He's not motivated", "he doesn't want anything better for himself." "He talks about having kids but I just don't think he's mature enough." My God, I thought. I really wish I could take exception to that as a black male, but sadly I really can see how one would come away with such an impression as reluctant as I am to admit it in public. One of these gentleman I have met, both are at least a few years older (and ostensibly wiser and more mature) than myself, so how is this possibly the case?
Not to say that I'm the archetype of maturity and adulthood, but I like to think my potential wife will harbor no such complaints about me. Even so I'm not foolish enough to think that that alone will allow one to leap over the fence of cultural separation. I could probably be the High Prince of Zamunda, have my own currency, and the average non-black family would still rather I leave their daughter be.
As one final anecdote of how bad things have gotten, consider this. A while ago, it was discovered by some friends of mine that on the website craigslist, there are listings for house-call escorts in your area. It being a hot summer day in a house full of alcohol, sooner or later temptation won and calls were placed. They were given a wrong address (since obviously no one wanted to really patronize prostitutes), that was conveniently within eye-shot of the kitchen window. This went on for hours, there really was nothing else to do, so why not make a few working girls burn gas driving all over town unnecessarily, only to be laughed at from a window across the street. Later on, one particular fellow came by the house to get in on the entertainment. He began making a few calls, and sooner or later came upon one who seemed willing to submit. He started giving her the address, when she interjected, "I'm sorry honey, are you african-american?" She inquired. "Yes I am." He replied. "Oooooh, I'm sorry sweetie, I don't date outside of my race." Click.
Wow! Didn't see that one coming. Is this really the state of things. So reviled are we that not even a girl of the avenue is willing to tolerate it as a commercial transaction? What more needs to be said?
So where does that leave us? Just what happened, and where is it all going? Your theories are as good as mine, please tell me.
--Tony Soprano
Butterhead, that's a good one, never heard that one before. I imagine it's probably because it arose in the 70's, back when disco and afro-sheen were in style.
If you do a Google search on ethnic slurs, the second page you get is aptly labeled "ethnic slurs by ethnicity". I did just such a search a few months ago, suspecting that I would find a trend, and sure enough my expectations were met. There they have a list of derogatory terms for people of all different ethnicities and religions, but you may notice one particular group of people has considerably more entries than the others, can you guess which group that is? Of course it's black people, or "African Descent" as Wikipedia phrases it with the utmost respect for political correctness.
The reason I began looking into this matter is because it seems rather obvious that black people are among the most maligned cultures in all of society, and the reasoning behind it fascinates me. I'm not sure of exactly why that is, or more specifically when it happened, and I haven't yet come to a concrete theory of my own so I'm open to suggestions, but I find the allure of understanding why, and how it became so widespread and pervasive to be well worth investigating.
The main thing that got me thinking about this topic is that we live in a time where it has become increasingly common for people to enter into interracial relationships. For example, I have two close female friends who are simultaneously working their way out of relationships that were probably ill-fated from the outset, largely for the very reasons that are the topic of my curiosity today.These two young ladies hail from two completely different ethnic backgrounds, both with parents who are from other countries, which makes their disinclination towards integrating black in-laws particularly strong in my experience.
I wondered, why is that? What happened, and when, that allowed black people the inglorious distinction of being the most unwanted in-laws of all time. Personally I've never been an official participant in an interracial relationship, however I do suffer from a penetrating adoration of the female form, so who knows where that will take me. But, ask your average man with a daughter going off to college what his recurring nightmare is that doesn't involve grim death, and I would wager that often enough that nightmare would be said daughter coming home with her new college boyfriend, who just happens to have a little more epidermal pigment than her father's taste permits. Now mind you, I'll be the first to say that black people, particularly African-American culture, certainly has it's bald-spots, but then who doesn't? Maybe ours are just the most conspicuous, but even that alone can't justify the apparently deep-seeded aversion. It far out-dates the advent of the internet and modern media in my estimation, so it can't be blamed on that.
Back to my two young lady friends, the details of the demise of their respective relationships are strikingly similar, beyond being skin deep. A few of the common details were, "I love him but I know my parents never will." "He's not motivated", "he doesn't want anything better for himself." "He talks about having kids but I just don't think he's mature enough." My God, I thought. I really wish I could take exception to that as a black male, but sadly I really can see how one would come away with such an impression as reluctant as I am to admit it in public. One of these gentleman I have met, both are at least a few years older (and ostensibly wiser and more mature) than myself, so how is this possibly the case?
Not to say that I'm the archetype of maturity and adulthood, but I like to think my potential wife will harbor no such complaints about me. Even so I'm not foolish enough to think that that alone will allow one to leap over the fence of cultural separation. I could probably be the High Prince of Zamunda, have my own currency, and the average non-black family would still rather I leave their daughter be.
As one final anecdote of how bad things have gotten, consider this. A while ago, it was discovered by some friends of mine that on the website craigslist, there are listings for house-call escorts in your area. It being a hot summer day in a house full of alcohol, sooner or later temptation won and calls were placed. They were given a wrong address (since obviously no one wanted to really patronize prostitutes), that was conveniently within eye-shot of the kitchen window. This went on for hours, there really was nothing else to do, so why not make a few working girls burn gas driving all over town unnecessarily, only to be laughed at from a window across the street. Later on, one particular fellow came by the house to get in on the entertainment. He began making a few calls, and sooner or later came upon one who seemed willing to submit. He started giving her the address, when she interjected, "I'm sorry honey, are you african-american?" She inquired. "Yes I am." He replied. "Oooooh, I'm sorry sweetie, I don't date outside of my race." Click.
Wow! Didn't see that one coming. Is this really the state of things. So reviled are we that not even a girl of the avenue is willing to tolerate it as a commercial transaction? What more needs to be said?
So where does that leave us? Just what happened, and where is it all going? Your theories are as good as mine, please tell me.
Thursday, March 13, 2008
American Journalism
"Because someone is physically beautiful, does that mean they would be a good prostitute?"
- Larry King
I really hate how the news people just pick topics, and then proceed to beat me over the head with them like they are Damon Wayans as Homey The Clown. I am not amused, and I don't play that.
I realize that the idea of a married man patronizing the services of a woman who acts as her own commodity while he's the Governor of New York is one that many find unsavory to say the least, but I think we gotta sober it up a little bit. Sure its news, maybe even big news but that can't be an excuse for us to just listen to anything these people can come up with.
The typically professional news coverage of CNN today was visiting this very topic for only the second or third time since I'd been watching, when Larry King announced an upcoming guest speaker. None other than a close friend of Jessica What's-her-name, or whatever the hooker chick's name is. I guess they figured that having already enlightened me as to the contents of a professional flesh-trader's Myspace page, I could pursue no other course of desire than to seek insight into what goes on behind the scenes of such a prostitution scandal, from a hooker who is acquainted with the hooker they really wanted on Larry King Live tonight.
As I sat listening to this certifiable moron of a prostitute pontificating (never use 'prostitute' and 'pontificate' in the same sentence) about her opinion on the subject of prostitution and the learning curve that such a practice entails, it hit me. I really don't care about anything this girl has to say. In fact, I'm offended that she has been invited to come onto prime-time national television to give her opinion, on anything, and I haven't. Sure that may sound rather arrogant on the surface, and it is, but what kind of message does that send to the world? That a girl who's best answer to the problems posed by life, was to have sex with as many men as it should take to support her extravagant lifestyle captures the attention of the nation, and my day to day travails as a short, black, stocky, aspiring attorney in a middle-of-nowhere shit town like Carlisle, PA can't? Not to bash on prostitutes in particular but really, if we know anything about a woman who is a prostitute it's that she can make bad decisions. What could she possibly have to tell the world that's gonna help anything? "Hey Girls, don't become hookers"? That's what she's got for us? Yea thanks, I think most of them got that memo a little while ago. Bears repeating though I guess.
Wait a minute though, CNN can take you further. Just when I was beginning to think maybe there's something wrong with me for not wanting to hear this shit, Larry hit me with the knockout.
"Let's bring in two more hookers and ask them what they think about prostitution." These two were not even socially related to the main hooker they couldn't get, but nonetheless. American journalism at its mother-fucking finest ladies and gentleman.
I opened my eyes, and before me sat a panel of hookers.
A panel of hookers? Seriously! One wasn't enough, after all this is CNN. A good journalist must always assess the reliability of their sources. And who better to offer critiques on hooker prose than more hookers?
Unbelievable.
I was really sitting in front of the television being talked at by a round table of prostitutes. What does that say about what these news-people think of me?
I guess it all just goes to show you why it's the oldest profession. Everybody patronizes even Larry King.
- Larry King
I really hate how the news people just pick topics, and then proceed to beat me over the head with them like they are Damon Wayans as Homey The Clown. I am not amused, and I don't play that.
I realize that the idea of a married man patronizing the services of a woman who acts as her own commodity while he's the Governor of New York is one that many find unsavory to say the least, but I think we gotta sober it up a little bit. Sure its news, maybe even big news but that can't be an excuse for us to just listen to anything these people can come up with.
The typically professional news coverage of CNN today was visiting this very topic for only the second or third time since I'd been watching, when Larry King announced an upcoming guest speaker. None other than a close friend of Jessica What's-her-name, or whatever the hooker chick's name is. I guess they figured that having already enlightened me as to the contents of a professional flesh-trader's Myspace page, I could pursue no other course of desire than to seek insight into what goes on behind the scenes of such a prostitution scandal, from a hooker who is acquainted with the hooker they really wanted on Larry King Live tonight.
As I sat listening to this certifiable moron of a prostitute pontificating (never use 'prostitute' and 'pontificate' in the same sentence) about her opinion on the subject of prostitution and the learning curve that such a practice entails, it hit me. I really don't care about anything this girl has to say. In fact, I'm offended that she has been invited to come onto prime-time national television to give her opinion, on anything, and I haven't. Sure that may sound rather arrogant on the surface, and it is, but what kind of message does that send to the world? That a girl who's best answer to the problems posed by life, was to have sex with as many men as it should take to support her extravagant lifestyle captures the attention of the nation, and my day to day travails as a short, black, stocky, aspiring attorney in a middle-of-nowhere shit town like Carlisle, PA can't? Not to bash on prostitutes in particular but really, if we know anything about a woman who is a prostitute it's that she can make bad decisions. What could she possibly have to tell the world that's gonna help anything? "Hey Girls, don't become hookers"? That's what she's got for us? Yea thanks, I think most of them got that memo a little while ago. Bears repeating though I guess.
Wait a minute though, CNN can take you further. Just when I was beginning to think maybe there's something wrong with me for not wanting to hear this shit, Larry hit me with the knockout.
"Let's bring in two more hookers and ask them what they think about prostitution." These two were not even socially related to the main hooker they couldn't get, but nonetheless. American journalism at its mother-fucking finest ladies and gentleman.
I opened my eyes, and before me sat a panel of hookers.
A panel of hookers? Seriously! One wasn't enough, after all this is CNN. A good journalist must always assess the reliability of their sources. And who better to offer critiques on hooker prose than more hookers?
Unbelievable.
I was really sitting in front of the television being talked at by a round table of prostitutes. What does that say about what these news-people think of me?
I guess it all just goes to show you why it's the oldest profession. Everybody patronizes even Larry King.
“The men who seek out escorts are looking to form a bond with someone, whether it be physically, emotionally, intellectually, spiritually…whatever it is, being an escort is about bonding with people.” – Natalie, who gave escorting advice to the now notorious “Kristen”.
Sunday, December 09, 2007
Stuff Television Taught Me
"I think I need more knives."
- Unknown
I've learned a couple of things lately that tell me a lot about what's going on. The first is that for about $150 you can purchase about 180 knives of all shapes and varieties through a special late-night offering on the info channel. Appropriately labelled, 'The Knife Show', all of your psychotic, sociopathic, PETA-hating, dismembering tendencies and primal urges can leap from your brain stem and come to fruition right on the front page of real life for just $149.99, and they'll even pay shipping and handling.
Just what in God's name a person would want with 180 knives, I can't imagine. And not kitchen knives mind you, serated gutting knives, green-beret knives, hunting knives, chop-a-head-off knives, even a 36" Kitana blade, all for 79 cents a piece. If you don't believe me, just look for it next time your surfing through tv channels late at night looking for something unbelievable. As you can imagine, the hosts of this show are quite remarkable too. A flannel-wearing white guy who looks to have completed all 3 years of middle school, and bears a resemblance to Al Boreland from 'Tool Time', swearing about how this deal changed his life and is worth every penny. And why someone would take knife-buying advice from his co-host, a middle-aged white woman who looks more like a Martha Stewart stand-in and speaks with an almost Ivy league proper, is just as baffling as the fact that this show is really on TV. But it is.
It almost seems like a set-up. Some secret federal operation to find out who all the real sick fucks are out there and get their credit card numbers. If that's the plan then I'm all for it, but if this really is a real show, sending real knives real cheap to real people who are awake at 3am, and were just-thinking about how they need more knives in their life, God help us all.
- Unknown
I've learned a couple of things lately that tell me a lot about what's going on. The first is that for about $150 you can purchase about 180 knives of all shapes and varieties through a special late-night offering on the info channel. Appropriately labelled, 'The Knife Show', all of your psychotic, sociopathic, PETA-hating, dismembering tendencies and primal urges can leap from your brain stem and come to fruition right on the front page of real life for just $149.99, and they'll even pay shipping and handling.
Just what in God's name a person would want with 180 knives, I can't imagine. And not kitchen knives mind you, serated gutting knives, green-beret knives, hunting knives, chop-a-head-off knives, even a 36" Kitana blade, all for 79 cents a piece. If you don't believe me, just look for it next time your surfing through tv channels late at night looking for something unbelievable. As you can imagine, the hosts of this show are quite remarkable too. A flannel-wearing white guy who looks to have completed all 3 years of middle school, and bears a resemblance to Al Boreland from 'Tool Time', swearing about how this deal changed his life and is worth every penny. And why someone would take knife-buying advice from his co-host, a middle-aged white woman who looks more like a Martha Stewart stand-in and speaks with an almost Ivy league proper, is just as baffling as the fact that this show is really on TV. But it is.
It almost seems like a set-up. Some secret federal operation to find out who all the real sick fucks are out there and get their credit card numbers. If that's the plan then I'm all for it, but if this really is a real show, sending real knives real cheap to real people who are awake at 3am, and were just-thinking about how they need more knives in their life, God help us all.
Saturday, November 17, 2007
The Complex
Maybe I'm the weird one. But I just don't understand a lot of the things that my contemporaries do. Something is just wrong with the way we entertain ourselves. Specifically I would like to address what we'll call the Facebook/Myspace complex. These two dot-coms are the behemoth heavyweights in the new age of internet-social networking as far as I am aware. I used to be a casual visitor to these set-ups, but over the past few years my usage been forced to wane for a number of reasons which aren't really the point of this diatribe.
First off, I would like to point out the irony of the term internet-social network. The word social is generally used to describe behavior that occurs in the company of others. Whether or not the typing of nonsensical internet banter on someones wall constitutes socializing, I will leave up to the jury to decide, but I respectfully reject that notion. As I sit now on my couch typing, I just don't feel social. The fact that I'm on this particular .com as opposed to another is going to have very little bearing on those feelings. No matter what website I choose to go on, I will still be here on my couch exactly where I wanted to be, enjoying the quiet and collecting my thoughts.
I have really come to dislike people who take internet life too seriously. I want them out of my life for fear that they will poison mine with their tomfoolery. I overheard a conversation a while ago that changed my life for the worse.
I overheard two mid-twenty-something young ladies who appeared to be grad students of some kind talking at a bar when one of them put forth some supposedly factual information that the other found somewhat shy of believable. Upon hearing the disbelief voiced by her friend, the first young lady adamantly retorts "Ya-huh, it's all over facebook!!"
After my own disbelief was overcome by my convincing myself that she couldn't have possibly just cited an internet website as social authority, the first semi-coherent sentence I was able to arrange in my mind involved repeated use of the words 'fuck', 'cretin' and 'loser'. Followed immediately by 'God help us' and my subdued resignation to the fact that this very conversation was probably taking place thousands of times a day nationwide.
I'm sure I'm the minority in having this feeling, but you simply cannot be a functional adult human if you can't mentally separate real life from cyberspace. It doesn't matter if it's a social network, let it stay on the fucking internet. It's bad enough that this nonsense exists, but at least it used to be confined to a computer screen. You bring it out of that little box and you fuck up the whole order of things.
And as a sidenote, nothing good comes from the myspace/facebook complex. Name one good thing that has happened in your life as a result of it. You get reminders of your internet friends birthdays? Is that the best you can come up with? The whole thing just has setup written all over it. Can you imagine how many relationships and friendships have ended off of nothing more than the strength of the internet? Just think about it: the incriminating message written on your girlfriend's wall; the ill-timed drunken photo that some conniving frat-party smut tagged you in on a night that your boyfriend thought you were home studying for your finals; the bump-out of the myspace top 10. The list goes on. Why even tempt fate, hasn't she taught you she's not to be taunted? Furthermore, these sites are fertile breeding grounds for the elusive internet-weirdo-creep-fuck, and nobody likes that guy.
Anyway, all of this stuff is too much. Do you think it's ever gonna end? We can't really enter professional adult life and still feel the need check our myspace friend requests from someone we haven't spoken to in 4 and a half years (invariably because you never really liked them), or some creep who saw you out and about 3 weeks ago and tracked you down through mutual friend pages, can we? But my personal favorites are these people. On the rare occasion when I go on this rant in person, I always encounter one of these, "Yea, myspace is creepy, I only deal with facebook." And then nod their head comfortably, as if to say 'I'm a safe internet weirdo-creep-fuck'. They're the same fucking thing, don't be delusional. Some people love it, I just ain't one of them, and I will continue to impune. But if that's your style to be on there several times a day, do you. Just please, please, don't drag it into the real world.
First off, I would like to point out the irony of the term internet-social network. The word social is generally used to describe behavior that occurs in the company of others. Whether or not the typing of nonsensical internet banter on someones wall constitutes socializing, I will leave up to the jury to decide, but I respectfully reject that notion. As I sit now on my couch typing, I just don't feel social. The fact that I'm on this particular .com as opposed to another is going to have very little bearing on those feelings. No matter what website I choose to go on, I will still be here on my couch exactly where I wanted to be, enjoying the quiet and collecting my thoughts.
I have really come to dislike people who take internet life too seriously. I want them out of my life for fear that they will poison mine with their tomfoolery. I overheard a conversation a while ago that changed my life for the worse.
I overheard two mid-twenty-something young ladies who appeared to be grad students of some kind talking at a bar when one of them put forth some supposedly factual information that the other found somewhat shy of believable. Upon hearing the disbelief voiced by her friend, the first young lady adamantly retorts "Ya-huh, it's all over facebook!!"
After my own disbelief was overcome by my convincing myself that she couldn't have possibly just cited an internet website as social authority, the first semi-coherent sentence I was able to arrange in my mind involved repeated use of the words 'fuck', 'cretin' and 'loser'. Followed immediately by 'God help us' and my subdued resignation to the fact that this very conversation was probably taking place thousands of times a day nationwide.
I'm sure I'm the minority in having this feeling, but you simply cannot be a functional adult human if you can't mentally separate real life from cyberspace. It doesn't matter if it's a social network, let it stay on the fucking internet. It's bad enough that this nonsense exists, but at least it used to be confined to a computer screen. You bring it out of that little box and you fuck up the whole order of things.
And as a sidenote, nothing good comes from the myspace/facebook complex. Name one good thing that has happened in your life as a result of it. You get reminders of your internet friends birthdays? Is that the best you can come up with? The whole thing just has setup written all over it. Can you imagine how many relationships and friendships have ended off of nothing more than the strength of the internet? Just think about it: the incriminating message written on your girlfriend's wall; the ill-timed drunken photo that some conniving frat-party smut tagged you in on a night that your boyfriend thought you were home studying for your finals; the bump-out of the myspace top 10. The list goes on. Why even tempt fate, hasn't she taught you she's not to be taunted? Furthermore, these sites are fertile breeding grounds for the elusive internet-weirdo-creep-fuck, and nobody likes that guy.
Anyway, all of this stuff is too much. Do you think it's ever gonna end? We can't really enter professional adult life and still feel the need check our myspace friend requests from someone we haven't spoken to in 4 and a half years (invariably because you never really liked them), or some creep who saw you out and about 3 weeks ago and tracked you down through mutual friend pages, can we? But my personal favorites are these people. On the rare occasion when I go on this rant in person, I always encounter one of these, "Yea, myspace is creepy, I only deal with facebook." And then nod their head comfortably, as if to say 'I'm a safe internet weirdo-creep-fuck'. They're the same fucking thing, don't be delusional. Some people love it, I just ain't one of them, and I will continue to impune. But if that's your style to be on there several times a day, do you. Just please, please, don't drag it into the real world.
Monday, October 29, 2007
News for Thought - 10/29/07
Mailbox Hit By Meteorite Sells for $83,000
Dog Steps On Gun, Wounds Hunter
TAMA,
Harris was shot in the lower left leg. The investigation is continuing.
Police: Man Wanted Sex With Corpse
Friday, October 26, 2007
Dueling Romeos
A man can under no circumstances, ever get into a physical altercation over a girl. It should never even enter the adult male mind to possibly fight another dude in an attempt to win the affections of a female.
It's ok to fight as a last resort inasmuch as it goes towards the defense of your wife, or maybe even your girlfriend depending on the circumstances, but if she's not your girl, don't be a dumbass.
I thought this went without saying, but once again being in this tiny biologically experimental fish-bowl called law school in Carlisle, Pennsylvania, where all sorts of wild varieties of odd-looking flamboyant species go to great lengths to demonstrate their social ineptitude, I find myself disappointed in my fellow human beings.
I was told the other day that this exact scenario actually happened. A fisticuff scuffle between two first-year law students at the local bar. They actually fought over who was gonna get her. I can only imagine what the dialogue was like that fanned the flames that ultimately boiled over into this final act of stupidity. Whatever it was, broken down into its simplest units of idiocy it must have been something like this.
"I want her, she's mine."
"No way, I saw her first."
"Let's fight!"
"Ok!"
Now you can use your imagination to envision a geeky-looking fight between two fellas who spend their days on gmail chat while they're in class supposedly learning about proper citation formats and the Federal Rules of Civil Procedure.
This kind of shit just can't be allowed to happen anywhere! Have we learned nothing about life in the 10,000 years of modern man? Are we really still basically cavemen that just happened to figure out how to make pyramids, the steam-engine, television, the internet, and Starbucks?
Don't EVER fight over a girl, it doesn't make sense no matter how drunk you are. There's too many of them, more than enough to go around, and sadly more than enough that will happily do just that.
At the end of the story it seemed to be suggested to me that to my amazement, the female in question has actually selected the "winner" of the "fight" to be her mate-of-the-moment.
I plead to any young women reading this, please don't ever condone this ridiculous behavior. You CAN NOT pick a guy who got into a bar fight over you. It's just retarded, and if you do, know that you are part of the problem. You are taking us all back in time, many millenia to the days when a man could just pick a girl, render her unconscious with the nearest blunt object and drag her back to the bachelor-cave for a little of the old in-out. This was an amoral, lawless society that is best left in our past. Ironically enough, in this case it was perpetrated by two future duly appointed defenders of the law, who just seemed to forget pretty much everything for one night. Let's all try to keep this from happening anymore.
It's ok to fight as a last resort inasmuch as it goes towards the defense of your wife, or maybe even your girlfriend depending on the circumstances, but if she's not your girl, don't be a dumbass.
I thought this went without saying, but once again being in this tiny biologically experimental fish-bowl called law school in Carlisle, Pennsylvania, where all sorts of wild varieties of odd-looking flamboyant species go to great lengths to demonstrate their social ineptitude, I find myself disappointed in my fellow human beings.
I was told the other day that this exact scenario actually happened. A fisticuff scuffle between two first-year law students at the local bar. They actually fought over who was gonna get her. I can only imagine what the dialogue was like that fanned the flames that ultimately boiled over into this final act of stupidity. Whatever it was, broken down into its simplest units of idiocy it must have been something like this.
"I want her, she's mine."
"No way, I saw her first."
"Let's fight!"
"Ok!"
Now you can use your imagination to envision a geeky-looking fight between two fellas who spend their days on gmail chat while they're in class supposedly learning about proper citation formats and the Federal Rules of Civil Procedure.
This kind of shit just can't be allowed to happen anywhere! Have we learned nothing about life in the 10,000 years of modern man? Are we really still basically cavemen that just happened to figure out how to make pyramids, the steam-engine, television, the internet, and Starbucks?
Don't EVER fight over a girl, it doesn't make sense no matter how drunk you are. There's too many of them, more than enough to go around, and sadly more than enough that will happily do just that.
At the end of the story it seemed to be suggested to me that to my amazement, the female in question has actually selected the "winner" of the "fight" to be her mate-of-the-moment.
I plead to any young women reading this, please don't ever condone this ridiculous behavior. You CAN NOT pick a guy who got into a bar fight over you. It's just retarded, and if you do, know that you are part of the problem. You are taking us all back in time, many millenia to the days when a man could just pick a girl, render her unconscious with the nearest blunt object and drag her back to the bachelor-cave for a little of the old in-out. This was an amoral, lawless society that is best left in our past. Ironically enough, in this case it was perpetrated by two future duly appointed defenders of the law, who just seemed to forget pretty much everything for one night. Let's all try to keep this from happening anymore.
Monday, October 22, 2007
Brian Billick
Brian Billick might be the worst coach in the history of the NFL to ever win a Super Bowl. I have maintained this since the year after they won it. He has produced a consistently inconsistent team, and an unstable, boring, predictable, generally ineffective offense since he has arrived in Baltimore.
The defense was good before he got here, and he has had little to do with the success on that side of the ball, but even the defensive dominance has started to fade as teams have learned that all they have to do to win is get rid of the ball quickly and avoid turnovers, put up 2 or 3 scores of any variety, and the impotent offense won't be able to make up the difference. This is a simple recipe for defeating the Ravens, and now the whole league knows it, from the Bills to the Browns, good thing we don't play the Raiders this season. We have the talent at every position except quarterback, but even that's no excuse because the Bills proved that you can beat an elite defense with two rookie playmakers in the backfield. Sooner or later, the coach has to be held accountable, he's coasted for 7 years off of one Super Bowl victory, it's over now. Time is up, the thrill is gone, as should be Brian Billick. I plead with Ravens ownership to free us fans from the burden placed on us every single Sunday of viewing a talented team constantly achieve nothing above mediocrity. Brian Billick is the antithesis of a good NFL coach, his team is consistently unprepared to play football on Sunday, see him out the door.
The defense was good before he got here, and he has had little to do with the success on that side of the ball, but even the defensive dominance has started to fade as teams have learned that all they have to do to win is get rid of the ball quickly and avoid turnovers, put up 2 or 3 scores of any variety, and the impotent offense won't be able to make up the difference. This is a simple recipe for defeating the Ravens, and now the whole league knows it, from the Bills to the Browns, good thing we don't play the Raiders this season. We have the talent at every position except quarterback, but even that's no excuse because the Bills proved that you can beat an elite defense with two rookie playmakers in the backfield. Sooner or later, the coach has to be held accountable, he's coasted for 7 years off of one Super Bowl victory, it's over now. Time is up, the thrill is gone, as should be Brian Billick. I plead with Ravens ownership to free us fans from the burden placed on us every single Sunday of viewing a talented team constantly achieve nothing above mediocrity. Brian Billick is the antithesis of a good NFL coach, his team is consistently unprepared to play football on Sunday, see him out the door.
Saturday, October 06, 2007
News for Thought
Whenever I find myself extremely bored, my new thing to do is to take a look at the US news headlines on cnn.com. This is some of the most bizarre shit I've ever seen, and further proof that everyone is slowly going crazy. Here are just a few things I saw that I thought were noteworthy.
Woman Finds Naked Stranger In Bed
HAZEL PARK, Mich. -- A woman returned home to find a naked stranger asleep in her bed in her Hazel Park home. Police said the man had been drinking and had blood alcohol level of 0.17 percent, the Daily Tribute reported.The woman said the man offered her $14 and some marijuana for sex.The man said he was told the woman was a call girl. She denied those accusations, but said she was a waitress at an adult night club.
Man Using Samurai Sword Seeks Revenge on Wrong Person, Victim Loses Finger
MILWAUKEE -- A drunk samurai sword-wielding man seeking revenge on a former friend had the wrong apartment when he attacked a man and severed the victim's pinky finger Sunday morning, police said.
Homeowner Offers Burglar Breakfast
SAN ANTONIO -- A man said he had a heart-to-heart conversation with an armed burglar over a cup of coffee after he found him stealing his belongings from his home on Sept. 11. "I said, 'What are you doing here?'" Swanson said. "He said, 'I'm taking your stuff and it's too bad you showed up.'" Swanson said he gave the burglar all the money in his wallet and offered to listen to his problems over breakfast.He said Hernandez told him he couldn't pay his bills or afford to buy food for himself.Swanson said he ended their conversation with a prayer and a hug.
Hungry Man Rips Head Off Duck
Wisconsin -- Members of an upscale retirement community reported seeing a drunken man staggering around a duck pond in the building's garden. When confronted the man grabbed a duck and stated "I'm hungry, I'm gonna eat it." Then proceeded to yank the ducks head off of its body before beginning to chew on the wriggling neck. He was later arrested and charged with misdemeanor intoxication and felony animal cruelty.
Woman Finds Naked Stranger In Bed
HAZEL PARK, Mich. -- A woman returned home to find a naked stranger asleep in her bed in her Hazel Park home. Police said the man had been drinking and had blood alcohol level of 0.17 percent, the Daily Tribute reported.The woman said the man offered her $14 and some marijuana for sex.The man said he was told the woman was a call girl. She denied those accusations, but said she was a waitress at an adult night club.
Man Using Samurai Sword Seeks Revenge on Wrong Person, Victim Loses Finger
MILWAUKEE -- A drunk samurai sword-wielding man seeking revenge on a former friend had the wrong apartment when he attacked a man and severed the victim's pinky finger Sunday morning, police said.
Homeowner Offers Burglar Breakfast
SAN ANTONIO -- A man said he had a heart-to-heart conversation with an armed burglar over a cup of coffee after he found him stealing his belongings from his home on Sept. 11. "I said, 'What are you doing here?'" Swanson said. "He said, 'I'm taking your stuff and it's too bad you showed up.'" Swanson said he gave the burglar all the money in his wallet and offered to listen to his problems over breakfast.He said Hernandez told him he couldn't pay his bills or afford to buy food for himself.Swanson said he ended their conversation with a prayer and a hug.
Hungry Man Rips Head Off Duck
Wisconsin -- Members of an upscale retirement community reported seeing a drunken man staggering around a duck pond in the building's garden. When confronted the man grabbed a duck and stated "I'm hungry, I'm gonna eat it." Then proceeded to yank the ducks head off of its body before beginning to chew on the wriggling neck. He was later arrested and charged with misdemeanor intoxication and felony animal cruelty.
Tuesday, September 25, 2007
The Phenomenon of the Law School Level Jumpers
All I want to know is, who teaches these people how to interact with other human beings?
I will put forth just a few of the brief episodes I have witnessed in this, the first month back to school. The following are all limited to perpetrators who have been known for less than a month by the offended (being either myself, or a young lady friend of mine who supplies more material than I would ever want to encounter first hand.)
Episode 1
I was in the hall one day, walking around trying to arouse the attention of no one, when all of a sudden from down the hall someone shouts,
"Yo, M. Breezy, what up!"
M. Breezy? I pause in my mind and wonder for a moment. Surely this person can't be trying to address me, and better yet who the hell is this person, for no one that I am actually friends with who would have my permission to address me by nicknames would actually behave in such an unnecessary manner. Sure enough, I turn around and it's one of theses new kids who's name I couldn't possibly expect to recall, trying way too hard to make a friendly impression. Many may think I'm being far too angry with such a response, but I just find it irritating. Stick to the script, you want to talk to someone, talk to them, there's no need to try to spice up everything. Is it fair to just assume someone is a nickname person who likes having people yell for them down hallways? Maybe I was creeping around quietly because I was trying to avoid someone, you never know. Now, my attempt is blown to smithereens, and I have another person to avoid in the hallways.
Episode 2
I witnessed first hand, the unilateral institution of a kiss-hello program between a close friend of mine, and a gentleman newcomer with whom she had been acquainted for all but 3 weeks. Wow, ballsy indeed. And ridiculous. Now I realize that this is quite normal in some cultures, fine. The east coast of these here United States is not one of those cultures. Who in the world could have possibly let this young fellow slide along the pathway of life for upwards of 2 decades without letting him know that this is not acceptable behavior? I find this particularly scary because it leads me to believe that it had to be reinforced somewhere along the line. Such behavior is not something that spontaneously arises in one's mid to late twenties. Therefore, in previous episodes of his life, situations were such that girls he had known for equal or perhaps even less time responded tastefully to this institution. This is gross. You can't just walk around putting your lips on people. Especially people who have expressed no prior sexual consent to your advances. This is not Europe, people don't just kiss for fun, it's intimately tied to sex over here, and you generally don't do it to people who haven't given you the green light. Unless I'm the one who's crazy, and please feel free to comment. Where do these people come from?
Episode 3
Same perpetrator as Episode 1, same Offendee as Episode 2
Picture this. A young lady, walking through the halls at school on her way to a classroom, when her attention is requested by a young fellow with whom she is only superficially acquainted. He holds out his arm in some sort of primitive, inspective gesture and utters forth, "Let me see." and looks towards her buttocks. As if that's not enough, he continues in the most sneeringly perverse of molester tones, "Mmm, yea, that ass is getting fatter. Must be all that sex I heard you were having this weekend."
Fortunately for my health, this one had to be relayed to me, as I was deprived of the horror of witnessing this tasteless act firsthand. I may have just choked to death on my own disgust if I had. Now, as I did not witness this event, I'm not sure exactly what her reaction to this was, but I imagine it was somewhere between speechlessness and absolute abhorrence, with a twist of putridity expressed in her face making it look kind of like a small child's the first time they mistake a slice of lemon for a piece of real fruit, for anything less would merit a phone call to her parents to tell them they apparently had all of the wrong answers. Speaking of parents with wrong answers, this young fellows parents must have set some kind of record on the SAT for defying even the law of averages and managing to fill in not a single correct dot. How else could even one parent raise a male child to believe that such behavior is at all appropriate or acceptable? Or maybe they did, and the new thing now is to just say fuck all the rules and go apeshit as soon as you get out of earshot of home base, because I just can't see how else this could happen.
What is going on?
I will put forth just a few of the brief episodes I have witnessed in this, the first month back to school. The following are all limited to perpetrators who have been known for less than a month by the offended (being either myself, or a young lady friend of mine who supplies more material than I would ever want to encounter first hand.)
Episode 1
I was in the hall one day, walking around trying to arouse the attention of no one, when all of a sudden from down the hall someone shouts,
"Yo, M. Breezy, what up!"
M. Breezy? I pause in my mind and wonder for a moment. Surely this person can't be trying to address me, and better yet who the hell is this person, for no one that I am actually friends with who would have my permission to address me by nicknames would actually behave in such an unnecessary manner. Sure enough, I turn around and it's one of theses new kids who's name I couldn't possibly expect to recall, trying way too hard to make a friendly impression. Many may think I'm being far too angry with such a response, but I just find it irritating. Stick to the script, you want to talk to someone, talk to them, there's no need to try to spice up everything. Is it fair to just assume someone is a nickname person who likes having people yell for them down hallways? Maybe I was creeping around quietly because I was trying to avoid someone, you never know. Now, my attempt is blown to smithereens, and I have another person to avoid in the hallways.
Episode 2
I witnessed first hand, the unilateral institution of a kiss-hello program between a close friend of mine, and a gentleman newcomer with whom she had been acquainted for all but 3 weeks. Wow, ballsy indeed. And ridiculous. Now I realize that this is quite normal in some cultures, fine. The east coast of these here United States is not one of those cultures. Who in the world could have possibly let this young fellow slide along the pathway of life for upwards of 2 decades without letting him know that this is not acceptable behavior? I find this particularly scary because it leads me to believe that it had to be reinforced somewhere along the line. Such behavior is not something that spontaneously arises in one's mid to late twenties. Therefore, in previous episodes of his life, situations were such that girls he had known for equal or perhaps even less time responded tastefully to this institution. This is gross. You can't just walk around putting your lips on people. Especially people who have expressed no prior sexual consent to your advances. This is not Europe, people don't just kiss for fun, it's intimately tied to sex over here, and you generally don't do it to people who haven't given you the green light. Unless I'm the one who's crazy, and please feel free to comment. Where do these people come from?
Episode 3
Same perpetrator as Episode 1, same Offendee as Episode 2
Picture this. A young lady, walking through the halls at school on her way to a classroom, when her attention is requested by a young fellow with whom she is only superficially acquainted. He holds out his arm in some sort of primitive, inspective gesture and utters forth, "Let me see." and looks towards her buttocks. As if that's not enough, he continues in the most sneeringly perverse of molester tones, "Mmm, yea, that ass is getting fatter. Must be all that sex I heard you were having this weekend."
Fortunately for my health, this one had to be relayed to me, as I was deprived of the horror of witnessing this tasteless act firsthand. I may have just choked to death on my own disgust if I had. Now, as I did not witness this event, I'm not sure exactly what her reaction to this was, but I imagine it was somewhere between speechlessness and absolute abhorrence, with a twist of putridity expressed in her face making it look kind of like a small child's the first time they mistake a slice of lemon for a piece of real fruit, for anything less would merit a phone call to her parents to tell them they apparently had all of the wrong answers. Speaking of parents with wrong answers, this young fellows parents must have set some kind of record on the SAT for defying even the law of averages and managing to fill in not a single correct dot. How else could even one parent raise a male child to believe that such behavior is at all appropriate or acceptable? Or maybe they did, and the new thing now is to just say fuck all the rules and go apeshit as soon as you get out of earshot of home base, because I just can't see how else this could happen.
What is going on?
Interest Renewed
After a hiatus over a short summer of total non-productivity, it seems time to revisit an old hobby, so here I stand. After being away for so long, I looked at the title of my own blog and was almost upset that it makes me seem like such an angry person. I'm not really that angry I don't think, its just that things upset me, and I like to bitch about them in writing, where I can organize my thoughts as they leave my head. That having been said, I don't want to seem quite so angry anymore, but I will still continue to vent my social frustrations as they arise.
Now that we've got that sappy shit out of the way, on to my first grievance...
Now that we've got that sappy shit out of the way, on to my first grievance...
Sunday, June 24, 2007
Please, Somebody Help Me! Tell Me It's Going to be Alright... Lip GLoss?!??
What would you do if you were just walking along one day, minding your own business on your way to pick up some food and beer for your own survival purposes, and your sojourn was suddenly interrupted by a passerby. You may not mind someone stopping your in the midst of your business to ask you for directions, or if you could tell them what time it is, but your reaction may differ if someone just stopped you and accosted you with absolute nonsense conversation. Say this person stopped you with an inquiry such as this, "Isn't my lip gloss cool?"
What do you do? If someone seriously thinks that this topic is something that interests you enough to spend time entertaining their half-witted banter, what is your response to them. Something tells me that it wouldn't be to join them in rendering a song and dance about how cool their lip gloss actually is. So if this is the case then why in the FUCK, (and pardon my profanity but that's what how I feel), why in the FUCK would you ever let somebody tell you that SHIT on the radio over, and over, and over again. Does it become catchy, is it less stupid the 43rd time you've heard it? No? Then why the fuck are you listening to it, and why is nobody else kicking up a fuss about this shit. I refuse to believe that I'm really the only one here who is going crazy. And you can't even turn it off anymore, shit is on the radio, it's on the internet, it's all over the TV, I can't even stroll down the street without hearing that or some other nonsense music and just wanting to go somewhere where this shit doesn't exist.
What do you do? If someone seriously thinks that this topic is something that interests you enough to spend time entertaining their half-witted banter, what is your response to them. Something tells me that it wouldn't be to join them in rendering a song and dance about how cool their lip gloss actually is. So if this is the case then why in the FUCK, (and pardon my profanity but that's what how I feel), why in the FUCK would you ever let somebody tell you that SHIT on the radio over, and over, and over again. Does it become catchy, is it less stupid the 43rd time you've heard it? No? Then why the fuck are you listening to it, and why is nobody else kicking up a fuss about this shit. I refuse to believe that I'm really the only one here who is going crazy. And you can't even turn it off anymore, shit is on the radio, it's on the internet, it's all over the TV, I can't even stroll down the street without hearing that or some other nonsense music and just wanting to go somewhere where this shit doesn't exist.
Monday, May 21, 2007
Images, and First Impressions, Or, "...and bitches love it!"
The following are just my thoughts.
Dating has always been a silly word to me. I've never really done it, and I really can't say it appeals to me at all. In the conventional sense, all it really amounts to is something like a college visit for a high school student. When you see them for the first few times, you're just meeting their idealist representative whose only job is to sell you on potential. The school you're visiting could turn out to be the best school in the world, and the person you're dating could turn out to be everything they're projecting themselves to be; their idea of your dream-come-true in a person. But odds are they won't, not if reality has anything to say about it.
Ask a person you know to describe what their "type" is, and listen carefully to the answer. Then afterwards, ask yourself this question: In their answer, was there anything at all unpredictable about their response, or anything that can't be assessed with a simple, superficial, glossing-over of the person in question?
If the answer is yes, take comfort in knowing that you have a friend capable of functional thought, because everybody's answer should contain some element specifically tailored to their desires that is otherwise unusual, and can't be readily assessed by exchanging glances and awkward, pre-fabricated conversation over a poorly cooked meal (a date.)
If the answer is no, which it invariably will be, know that there are millions of dating people who are aware of these cookie-cutter images people have of their own ideal sexual counterpart. People who are willing to go to great lengths of imbecilic expenditure, and general duncery to engage in debaucherous romps with their fellow humans. It is in this mold that these folks cut themselves. Not because projecting an image that achieves this end has anything to do with the actual personality from which it emerges. In fact the only thing it tells you for sure is that this person is so focused on this one idea that they're willing to suppress all other elements of their personality just to show the world that they fit with the rest. If this is a trait that one finds desirable, have at it, and good luck with that is all I have to say.
The event that brought this concept to mind took place at a very close friends home the other day while we were outside having a few beers, relaxing, and talking. One of the individuals who we were hanging with was asked about a tattoo that he had on his arm, and began to show it. "It's a picture of St. Michael." He says. And on the other side of his arm, he had the full prayer inscribed against his bicep.
That's nice, almost pious I thought. It's a relief to see some sort of dedication to a belief in something, so profound as to etch it on one's body.
"Yea, and bitches love it!" He retorts.
Wow.
People will sell you anything if you're willing to buy it. My advice to everyone who shops in these stores is, hold on to that receipt.
Dating has always been a silly word to me. I've never really done it, and I really can't say it appeals to me at all. In the conventional sense, all it really amounts to is something like a college visit for a high school student. When you see them for the first few times, you're just meeting their idealist representative whose only job is to sell you on potential. The school you're visiting could turn out to be the best school in the world, and the person you're dating could turn out to be everything they're projecting themselves to be; their idea of your dream-come-true in a person. But odds are they won't, not if reality has anything to say about it.
Ask a person you know to describe what their "type" is, and listen carefully to the answer. Then afterwards, ask yourself this question: In their answer, was there anything at all unpredictable about their response, or anything that can't be assessed with a simple, superficial, glossing-over of the person in question?
If the answer is yes, take comfort in knowing that you have a friend capable of functional thought, because everybody's answer should contain some element specifically tailored to their desires that is otherwise unusual, and can't be readily assessed by exchanging glances and awkward, pre-fabricated conversation over a poorly cooked meal (a date.)
If the answer is no, which it invariably will be, know that there are millions of dating people who are aware of these cookie-cutter images people have of their own ideal sexual counterpart. People who are willing to go to great lengths of imbecilic expenditure, and general duncery to engage in debaucherous romps with their fellow humans. It is in this mold that these folks cut themselves. Not because projecting an image that achieves this end has anything to do with the actual personality from which it emerges. In fact the only thing it tells you for sure is that this person is so focused on this one idea that they're willing to suppress all other elements of their personality just to show the world that they fit with the rest. If this is a trait that one finds desirable, have at it, and good luck with that is all I have to say.
The event that brought this concept to mind took place at a very close friends home the other day while we were outside having a few beers, relaxing, and talking. One of the individuals who we were hanging with was asked about a tattoo that he had on his arm, and began to show it. "It's a picture of St. Michael." He says. And on the other side of his arm, he had the full prayer inscribed against his bicep.
That's nice, almost pious I thought. It's a relief to see some sort of dedication to a belief in something, so profound as to etch it on one's body.
"Yea, and bitches love it!" He retorts.
Wow.
People will sell you anything if you're willing to buy it. My advice to everyone who shops in these stores is, hold on to that receipt.
Friday, May 04, 2007
...but I do eat fish sometimes.
Maybe I'm just crazy, or arrogant, or something in between, but much of life has just completely ceased to make sense to me.
This is an admittedly small and irrelevant piece of the pie, but it's very demonstrative to me of exactly what I mean when I speak a line that some of those close to me may have heard me utter once or twice, 'Nothing makes sense anymore.'
I just don't understand the whole vegetarian/soybean/"I only eat fish" culture. First of all, absent some physiological allergy to meat products (which I've never heard of), why would a person subject oneself to this type of nonsense? Meat is great. You ever had a really great piece of steak? If you can't appreciate that, don't even talk to me, it's like not liking sex, what is wrong with your brain? Okay, fine, you might want to abstain from sex until you get married, or you might be scared of the clap, or whatever, but you know you like sex, it's simply what makes us human. A good piece of meat is the same way.
If we were meant to eat only vegetables, we'd only have broad, flat teeth like cattle, or any other grazing animal that makes it's living off green stuff. But it wasn't enough for you peculiar folk to just eat vegetables all the time, no no, you had to make a point of letting all the regular folks know about it, as if we're the abnormal ones. You gotta have all the 'Whole Foods' %100 recycled paper grocery bags folded up in a nice, neat, highly visible stack in the corner of your kitchen. But you people know all of your shit is bullshit, it's evident in your own products.
Just the other day, I heard this young lady tell me her dinner plans for the evening as we were leaving a study session. She says to me, "I'm going home to finish cooking my dinner." Naturally I replied "What are you having tonight?" To which she replied "Soy-sausage, yum..." My brain actually vomitted down my throat a little bit. "Soy-sausage?" I replied after my involuntary burst of laughter subsided. That, right there, is how you can tell something is nonsense. When it just doesn't even sound right.
First, have you ever tasted a soy product that didn't end in the word sauce? Yea, correct, gross is the word you were looking for. Second, if this shit was really worth anything, they wouldn't have to make it masquerade as a great-tasting MEAT-product for it to sell. I mean, I've never gone to a nice restaurant, taken a look at the menu and seen a filet mignon dressed up like a bushel of alfalfa. You know why? Cause filet mignon is great, it doesn't have to dress up as shit, cause you want it, and it knows that. If soy was good, they wouldn't have to make it seem like something else. Soy ice-cream, vegetarian burgers? Soy-milk!? Soy can't have milk, because milk by definition comes from breasts. Mammary glands, hence the word mammals. Animals make milk, not plants. Grow up, all of you, or just leave, please. It's better for us all. And when the fuck did fish stop counting as meat? Do fish have roots and leaves and photosynthesis that I missed in all of my high school biology classes? How does this make sense to anyone?
This is an admittedly small and irrelevant piece of the pie, but it's very demonstrative to me of exactly what I mean when I speak a line that some of those close to me may have heard me utter once or twice, 'Nothing makes sense anymore.'
I just don't understand the whole vegetarian/soybean/"I only eat fish" culture. First of all, absent some physiological allergy to meat products (which I've never heard of), why would a person subject oneself to this type of nonsense? Meat is great. You ever had a really great piece of steak? If you can't appreciate that, don't even talk to me, it's like not liking sex, what is wrong with your brain? Okay, fine, you might want to abstain from sex until you get married, or you might be scared of the clap, or whatever, but you know you like sex, it's simply what makes us human. A good piece of meat is the same way.
If we were meant to eat only vegetables, we'd only have broad, flat teeth like cattle, or any other grazing animal that makes it's living off green stuff. But it wasn't enough for you peculiar folk to just eat vegetables all the time, no no, you had to make a point of letting all the regular folks know about it, as if we're the abnormal ones. You gotta have all the 'Whole Foods' %100 recycled paper grocery bags folded up in a nice, neat, highly visible stack in the corner of your kitchen. But you people know all of your shit is bullshit, it's evident in your own products.
Just the other day, I heard this young lady tell me her dinner plans for the evening as we were leaving a study session. She says to me, "I'm going home to finish cooking my dinner." Naturally I replied "What are you having tonight?" To which she replied "Soy-sausage, yum..." My brain actually vomitted down my throat a little bit. "Soy-sausage?" I replied after my involuntary burst of laughter subsided. That, right there, is how you can tell something is nonsense. When it just doesn't even sound right.
First, have you ever tasted a soy product that didn't end in the word sauce? Yea, correct, gross is the word you were looking for. Second, if this shit was really worth anything, they wouldn't have to make it masquerade as a great-tasting MEAT-product for it to sell. I mean, I've never gone to a nice restaurant, taken a look at the menu and seen a filet mignon dressed up like a bushel of alfalfa. You know why? Cause filet mignon is great, it doesn't have to dress up as shit, cause you want it, and it knows that. If soy was good, they wouldn't have to make it seem like something else. Soy ice-cream, vegetarian burgers? Soy-milk!? Soy can't have milk, because milk by definition comes from breasts. Mammary glands, hence the word mammals. Animals make milk, not plants. Grow up, all of you, or just leave, please. It's better for us all. And when the fuck did fish stop counting as meat? Do fish have roots and leaves and photosynthesis that I missed in all of my high school biology classes? How does this make sense to anyone?
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