Tuesday, April 18, 2006

Multi-Tasking, and Other New-Age Nonsense


People who like to polish their own asses with the new "Multi-tasker" moniker need to all go to hell. How have they made it through life thus far? Now that there's a trendy name for some simple concept everyone wants to be in on the party. Making names for shit that already existed to make it look like more than it is...

People who are shopping for cars and look at a Dodge because it has a 'Hemi' in it like it says in all the commercials. Come now, are we serious? Does no one think anymore? What the fuck is a hemi? You don't know, I don't know, they don'tknow, it doesn't matter even if you do know. They're advertising a truck that contains an engine. How luxurious!

This is just like the Chris Rock bit about men who say things like, "I take care of my kids!", and expect somebody to step from behind the camera and hand them a gold statue. You can't ask for credit for doing things that you are supposed to do. You undermine the integrity of the whole society when you do because when enough people start to do it, it becomes the norm, then it becomes acceptable to be do things that essentially take everyone back to days of clubbing women upside the head and dragging the by their hair back to the cave. You might as well not even have a frontal lobe if you're going to ignore it.

Friday, February 24, 2006

Things I Hate...Followed in some cases by my advice to the perpetrators


(in no particular order)
I'm angry
Ugly people serving my food...highly unappetizing*
People who think they are too good to drink or smoke
Pop music...it sucks
People who engage other people in conversations when they know neither has anything to say to the other*
Hollywood because all they do is give out awards*
Fat chicks in short and/or tight clothing...be realistic
Couples not involving myself
Adults who watch American Idol
The fact that people like keanu reeves and antonio banderas get overpaid to suck at what they do
People who describe their occupation as "hustla"*
People who ride New York like it's the center of the universe...shut the fuck up*
People who think wearing expensive crap clothing makes them cool...open the window and jump
Philly homeless people that try to give the unrequested parallel parking assist..fuck off
Dudes that are taller than me
Downloadable ringtones
Brian Billick's coaching*
Dudes that are shorter than me that act tough...good luck with that
Girls with no standards who bang cornball dudes for no good reason messing up the whole system for the girls who still have some integrity left.
My bizarro hairline
Whoever's job it is to keep looking for more places to hide cheese on pizzas
These are just some of my thoughts on things that piss me off, and is not intended to offend anyone, except where noted with an asterisk. More to come...