Uncredited Extra

If life was a movie, the overwhelming majority of people whom we encounter, and interact with would most appropriately be labeled uncredited extras in the filmmaker's vernacular. These nameless, hollow pedestrians fulfill a very important visual purpose in a film, however in real life the story is very much different. I'm finding that more and more people fall into this category these days. Normally, this would be ok, but now they're doing what every extra always tries to do: waving their arms, jumping up and down, staring at the camera, just whatever they can to draw attention to themselves in hopes that someone will spot the untapped talent contained therein and offer them a bigger role. People like this need to stick to the script, and keep their nonsense to themselves and just try not to be noticed, I think. Everybody is level jumping. I go through painstaking lengths to keep these people from bringing their shit into my world, but sometimes they just piggyback in one someone else's tab. This is wrong. Just because we have a mutual friend, does not entitle you to enter my life and strike a pose like we're best of friends by association. You are an extra for a reason, because you are not necessary. Not to me, and I don't want to be villified if you force me to note this to you. Just know your role, and stay it. There's nothing wrong with being an extra, life just like film would be barren without them, but stay in your place. And please, please don't speak.

esteem, the balance

"Because you have chosen not to respect yourself, you have made your happiness subject to the opinions others have of you..."
--Meditations

I have a friend who I think this statement applies particularly well to. It's understandable that what one lacks in esteem they vigorously approximate in tangible (especially visual) assets. As if to say, 'see, I am as good or better than you.' But to do this is to assume that the person to whom your attention is directed had a such an unfavorable view of your self to begin with. Sometimes this is true, but I would caution that often it isn't. And in this case you do little to change the outside perception of yourself other than to inflame your already apparent lack of self-definition. And in my opinion, this is a terrible way to live.

"Go on abusing yourself! Not long and you will lose the opportunity to show yourself any respect. We have only one life to live, and yours is almost over....Does the news bother you? Do you worry about things out of your control? Then take some time to concentrate your mind in the acquisition of some new and useful knowledge and stop it from flitting about. By the same token, guard against making the mistake of those who keep themselves so busy trying to gain control that they wear themselves out and lose their sense of direction, having no purpose to guide their actions or even their thoughts."

I am not so obtuse that I fail to see myself in this last assessment, but I have to try. One extreme is just as poor a choice as the other. I guess the struggle is always to find the balance.