I have said before that I think it is really unnecessary, and rather effeminate for a man to spend a surplus of time on facebook. For one thing, it really is set up to cater more towards women. Photo albums, and new profile pics, and updates on peoples personal business, and instant chats. (Did we really need another medium of instant internet communication? Fuck no.) The whole thing is really just one big public exercise in vanity.
Prior to the days of the internet this whole arena of social customs was typically reserved to women, and the softer, more gossipy variety of males that normal dudes spent a good amount of time making fun of in high school. I mean really before facebook when was the last time a dude showed you pictures he took of himself doing anything? If your answer is never, congratulations you probably have normal male peers in your life.
But it's one thing to be on facebook, after all there are broads on facebook and dudes will go wherever the broads are, that's the nature of things. But it starts to become a bit too much when dudes assimilate so much to the largely feminized facebook culture that they start to do shit that they really need not do. Case in point, status updates. Now I can let the odd update slide here and there if something notable happens, but other than that how much shit goes on during the course of your day that you think is so fucking special that everyone else needs to know about it? A man should have no need to do hourly, daily, or even semi-daily status updates on facebook that shit is girly. Seriously? What real man that you respect do you know that has so much shit he wants to tell you about his day that he would deliberately get on an online social networking site, type that dumb ass shit, and post it for all his buddies to see? And if he does choose to do this, it better be the funniest shit I've ever seen in my life, otherwise you've just entered the realm of the man-turned-bitch. If you are updating your facebook status routinely, you are a bitch. Who the fuck cares what you're doing?
As a man, you should be at work, or school. And if you're at either one of these places I already know what the fuck is going on, and so does every other man on the planet who isn't a bitch. You're at work, work/class sucks, you're hungry, you saw a hot ass chick with some big breasts and a fat ass that you want to fuck but probably won't, and now you're ready to go home. It really is that simple.
It's always been socially acceptable for girls/women to have more to say about their day to day operations. Look no further than your own relationships, or your parents, or even TV. That beer commercial where the chick comes home and wants to "vent" and her knucklehead dude thinks she's talking about some stupid fucking beer can with a slot in it. (By the way this is how you know you make a shit product if you have to try to sell people on the fucking container it comes in.) But all she wanted to do was tell him about her day, cause her day is much more dramatic than his. How? I have no fucking idea but I don't care, that's the way it is, and we should leave it that way. But this is no excuse for men to start bitching about their days, nobody wants to hear that shit. A grown man whining? Fuck that. You shouldn't do it in real life, and you shouldn't do it on the internet. Keep that shit to yourself and man the fuck up.
I'm out.
Tuesday, March 31, 2009
Monday, March 16, 2009
postscript: a view from the streets
Just in case you couldn't narrow it down to 2 like they tell you on standardized multiple choice tests, they put up this big fucking billboard to let you know that help is here. I know some people have fucked up situations to deal with, but I can't get past the idea that we're all just becoming a little too complacent to reckless behavior when we start advertising partial remedies to people's parental fuck-ups like it's ok to just be out in these streets acting like scumbags. And if you happen to be the dude on the other side of this poster, praying that it was one of the other dudes she was fucking that knocked her up instead of you, learn a lesson, don't be a dickhead. Just cause your parents fucked up, doesn't mean you gotta go and fuck up the next round of kids.
This place should not even have to exist. I understand CPCs as they are called are actually in the business of talking girls out of abortions, but how are they just gonna call it a crisis pregnancy center? The whole notion is depressing and it made my stomach hurt a little bit to think that this is how far we've come as people. This particular venue is in a predominantly Mexican neighborhood on the east side, sandwiched right between the local high school and the main branch of the free library. School, library, crisis pregnancy center. God help us all.
Tuesday, March 10, 2009
Observations from Baltimore City
Everyday it seems something funny, revealing, or otherwise noteworthy happens in everyday life, here are just a few that I noticed.
A few weeks ago, on the front page of the Baltimore Sun was the city police department complimenting itself on a job well done with one of the biggest drug busts in recent memory in a city noted for having very little impact on its pandemic drug problem. On the front page was a picture of 40 kilograms of cocaine that was seized and spread out all over the table, around a long stack of 100, 50, and 20 dollar bills. "About $11,000 in cash was recovered along with the drugs; no weapons were found. Police are consulting with federal authorities to determine the next steps in the investigation." Now my knowledge of the illegal drug trade is admittedly rather amateur, but what I do know is this. The police kicked down the door of a major drug operation with almost 90 pounds of coke on the premises, and came away with 11 grand cash? Who are these people talking to? This is not even believable, if you're buying that much cocaine, probably turning it into crack and selling it on the streets of Baltimore, 11,000 isn't even believable street money. They could have at least done the public the service of pretending they weren't some scraping off the top crooked ass dickheads. But hey, it's a recession.
On a disheartening note, this encounter was observed.
While driving on Baltimore Street, two girls who apparently hadn't seen each other for a while ran into each other on the sidewalk. The exchange:
"Hey girl, how you doing?"
"I'm good, I had an abortion yesterday, I'm bout to go get something to eat now."
Wow. Just rolled off her tongue like it was a routine check-up, like an oil change. An abortion. Good grief. This is where we're at?
A few weeks ago, on the front page of the Baltimore Sun was the city police department complimenting itself on a job well done with one of the biggest drug busts in recent memory in a city noted for having very little impact on its pandemic drug problem. On the front page was a picture of 40 kilograms of cocaine that was seized and spread out all over the table, around a long stack of 100, 50, and 20 dollar bills. "About $11,000 in cash was recovered along with the drugs; no weapons were found. Police are consulting with federal authorities to determine the next steps in the investigation." Now my knowledge of the illegal drug trade is admittedly rather amateur, but what I do know is this. The police kicked down the door of a major drug operation with almost 90 pounds of coke on the premises, and came away with 11 grand cash? Who are these people talking to? This is not even believable, if you're buying that much cocaine, probably turning it into crack and selling it on the streets of Baltimore, 11,000 isn't even believable street money. They could have at least done the public the service of pretending they weren't some scraping off the top crooked ass dickheads. But hey, it's a recession.
On a disheartening note, this encounter was observed.
While driving on Baltimore Street, two girls who apparently hadn't seen each other for a while ran into each other on the sidewalk. The exchange:
"Hey girl, how you doing?"
"I'm good, I had an abortion yesterday, I'm bout to go get something to eat now."
Wow. Just rolled off her tongue like it was a routine check-up, like an oil change. An abortion. Good grief. This is where we're at?
Monday, March 09, 2009
A Man must have a Code
"There is no shame in the world, and without shame, you cannot have honor. We live in a world ruled by consensus."
-Milius
This is what I think. Everyone needs to have a code, a set of standards for themselves that set a bare minimum of expectations below which they will not venture. I think shamelessness has yielded the most critical wounds of cultural sin to our collective humanity. A person's sense of their own self and the meaning they convey through to those around them may be all that separates us from the brutish realities of unkempt human nature. Pure self-interest, moral isolation, and complete social de-evolution. It would be impossible for anything resembling a real society to exist under an atmosphere so inhospitable to cooperation, and upon parched land purged of all the fluidity of thought imbued through the ability to let life's lessons guide future decisions to a better end. It is the perspective of our own selves as members of a society, accountable to more than just our own individual interests that we seek to protect when we hold ourselves to admittedly difficult standards. But the case has always been that some of us require only the immediate, instantly gratifying comforts that really only come when we choose to regulate our behavior based on nothing beyond ease and impulse.
I know many people like this. I know few people who actually hold themselves accountable to a thoughtful purpose. It doesn't have to be anything grandiose or transcendent in scale, but just humanistic. Something that will allow you to preserve your sense of dignity, and not require constant reinforcement and external validation in order for you to carry it. If you can't carry your own life in a dignified manner without giving yourself over to purely self-serving, hedonistic interests, what kind of world are you leaving for the one's that come next, our own children even? I think having a code in life, no matter how big or small, is all that really separates us from the people we encounter in life who we thank God we are not, and to whom we can only hope our own children don't assimilate.
-Milius
This is what I think. Everyone needs to have a code, a set of standards for themselves that set a bare minimum of expectations below which they will not venture. I think shamelessness has yielded the most critical wounds of cultural sin to our collective humanity. A person's sense of their own self and the meaning they convey through to those around them may be all that separates us from the brutish realities of unkempt human nature. Pure self-interest, moral isolation, and complete social de-evolution. It would be impossible for anything resembling a real society to exist under an atmosphere so inhospitable to cooperation, and upon parched land purged of all the fluidity of thought imbued through the ability to let life's lessons guide future decisions to a better end. It is the perspective of our own selves as members of a society, accountable to more than just our own individual interests that we seek to protect when we hold ourselves to admittedly difficult standards. But the case has always been that some of us require only the immediate, instantly gratifying comforts that really only come when we choose to regulate our behavior based on nothing beyond ease and impulse.
I know many people like this. I know few people who actually hold themselves accountable to a thoughtful purpose. It doesn't have to be anything grandiose or transcendent in scale, but just humanistic. Something that will allow you to preserve your sense of dignity, and not require constant reinforcement and external validation in order for you to carry it. If you can't carry your own life in a dignified manner without giving yourself over to purely self-serving, hedonistic interests, what kind of world are you leaving for the one's that come next, our own children even? I think having a code in life, no matter how big or small, is all that really separates us from the people we encounter in life who we thank God we are not, and to whom we can only hope our own children don't assimilate.
Sunday, March 01, 2009
The Name Game Part 2: some other shit that makes me mad
You can't just make up a name and wrap it around some idea, and then push it in my face like it has some kind of credibility just because it can be addressed. If you go to cnn.com, and scroll down to the headlines by section and look under special coverage, you will see "The First 100 days: Track the issues and policies." What the fuck does that mean? The first hundred days? This dude is the President, and he's black. The first 100 days? Like on day 101, the entire worldwide news media is gonna crawl out of this man's ass and just let him do his job without reporting every statement he makes, every wave, every gesture, it's amazing he finds time to fart without somebody catching it on tape. Now I understand, he's the President, he's gonna get watched, fine. But call it what it is. Reporters and media people, doing their fucking job. Trying to get all fancy and shit. Like people are sitting around the dinner table asking each other, "So have you checked on the first 100 days lately? No? You gotta read the first 100, there's not ever gonna be another first 100 days, and you know the 2nd hundred isn't gonna be nearly as good cause it's almost impossible to make a good sequel these days." These people are too much.
Here's another one that I find hilarious, "The B n' T". New York is notorious for this shit. It's probably the center of the, we-gotta-word-for-it-now, so-it's-cool-and-you-should-use-it, and-if you-don't-know-what-it-means, you're-a-sambo-and-a-coon mentality. The B n' T is the term they use for non-Manhattanites. The people that use the bridges and tunnels to come in for the evening, and use them again to leave after they've emptied their wallets and have nothing to show for it but a debit card statement that reads like a trail bread crumbs of from cabs, to bars, and restaurants all over the city, only the bread is real. Or at least it was, now it is gone. And then that's what they got for me once I go? Looking at the back of my head as I leave, snickering cause I'm a B n' T? I can't do it. That place is crazy, it drives me crazy. It drives everyone crazy eventually I think, the only difference is how fast it happens. Nobody's really from manhattan anyway, but even so. Did you really need another word for tourists?
Here's another one that I find hilarious, "The B n' T". New York is notorious for this shit. It's probably the center of the, we-gotta-word-for-it-now, so-it's-cool-and-you-should-use-it, and-if you-don't-know-what-it-means, you're-a-sambo-and-a-coon mentality. The B n' T is the term they use for non-Manhattanites. The people that use the bridges and tunnels to come in for the evening, and use them again to leave after they've emptied their wallets and have nothing to show for it but a debit card statement that reads like a trail bread crumbs of from cabs, to bars, and restaurants all over the city, only the bread is real. Or at least it was, now it is gone. And then that's what they got for me once I go? Looking at the back of my head as I leave, snickering cause I'm a B n' T? I can't do it. That place is crazy, it drives me crazy. It drives everyone crazy eventually I think, the only difference is how fast it happens. Nobody's really from manhattan anyway, but even so. Did you really need another word for tourists?
The Name Game Part 1: Swagger
"dumb shit, by any other name..."
We have a lot of dumb shit in our culture. Fortunately for those who produce and profit from dumb shit, we have an abundance of dickheads and morons that come in many different varieties that are more than happy to absorb the dumb shit and nonsense into their lives. But in order for the dumb shit and nonsense to achieve optimal absorption in the minds of your common dickhead, it must have a name. Preferably simple, and containing as few syllables as possible for the memory-challenged. Sometimes, those in the dumb shit and nonsense industry can even get away with putting a new name on an old dumb shit concept.
Swagger. If you look it up, the noun swagger is defined as an ostentatious display of arrogance or conceit. In its verb form, it is to boast, or brag noisily. All very desirable characteristics, no doubt. But my beef with this word comes from its common employment among the young pop crowd. If questioned as to the meaning of this word in its everyday sense, the common dickhead will offer a variety of definitions. A few samples: "It's like a attitude."; "Confidence."; "It's kinda like sexiness with a thug appeal." I've heard Lebron has it, I've heard Obama has it, I've heard Denzel Washington has it, I've even heard Tyler Hansbrough has it. So, aside from success, what the fuck is it?
Urbandictionary.com, (which I can't even believe is real), says swagger is a person's style, the way they walk, talk, dress. But it seems to me we already had plenty of words for all of this shit, words that were much more clear, much more sensible, and much less irresponsibly thrown about as if we're all gonna go through swagger withdrawal if we can't use the word at least 7 times a day. The word and all of it's equally obnoxious permutations are omnipresent in popular media: swag, swagnificent, first-team all swag, swaggalacity. I find it even funnier that as I'm writing this, the little squiggly line that shows up when the computer doesn't recognize a word isn't showing up under notta one swag derivative. This shit is retarded. People measure themselves against this concept. A word with an at best ambiguous meaning, that is almost exclusively used by people who should be anything but arrogant, conceited, or modeled after. A while ago I asked a girl I know from the corniest county in Maryland just exactly how she defines that word, and she responded, "You don't know cause you ain't got it." Maybe, but I feel quite comfortable not needing to have made up definitions of words that are easier for rappers to rhyme with to describe myself. That shits childish. My man Mike might have put it best, "...maybe you're right, I don't have swagger. I guess I'm stuck with manhood."
We have a lot of dumb shit in our culture. Fortunately for those who produce and profit from dumb shit, we have an abundance of dickheads and morons that come in many different varieties that are more than happy to absorb the dumb shit and nonsense into their lives. But in order for the dumb shit and nonsense to achieve optimal absorption in the minds of your common dickhead, it must have a name. Preferably simple, and containing as few syllables as possible for the memory-challenged. Sometimes, those in the dumb shit and nonsense industry can even get away with putting a new name on an old dumb shit concept.
Swagger. If you look it up, the noun swagger is defined as an ostentatious display of arrogance or conceit. In its verb form, it is to boast, or brag noisily. All very desirable characteristics, no doubt. But my beef with this word comes from its common employment among the young pop crowd. If questioned as to the meaning of this word in its everyday sense, the common dickhead will offer a variety of definitions. A few samples: "It's like a attitude."; "Confidence."; "It's kinda like sexiness with a thug appeal." I've heard Lebron has it, I've heard Obama has it, I've heard Denzel Washington has it, I've even heard Tyler Hansbrough has it. So, aside from success, what the fuck is it?
Urbandictionary.com, (which I can't even believe is real), says swagger is a person's style, the way they walk, talk, dress. But it seems to me we already had plenty of words for all of this shit, words that were much more clear, much more sensible, and much less irresponsibly thrown about as if we're all gonna go through swagger withdrawal if we can't use the word at least 7 times a day. The word and all of it's equally obnoxious permutations are omnipresent in popular media: swag, swagnificent, first-team all swag, swaggalacity. I find it even funnier that as I'm writing this, the little squiggly line that shows up when the computer doesn't recognize a word isn't showing up under notta one swag derivative. This shit is retarded. People measure themselves against this concept. A word with an at best ambiguous meaning, that is almost exclusively used by people who should be anything but arrogant, conceited, or modeled after. A while ago I asked a girl I know from the corniest county in Maryland just exactly how she defines that word, and she responded, "You don't know cause you ain't got it." Maybe, but I feel quite comfortable not needing to have made up definitions of words that are easier for rappers to rhyme with to describe myself. That shits childish. My man Mike might have put it best, "...maybe you're right, I don't have swagger. I guess I'm stuck with manhood."
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