Guess Who's Coming to Dinner

"If one of my sisters ever brought home a fuckin' butterhead you know what my ol' man woulda done?"
--Tony Soprano

Butterhead, that's a good one, never heard that one before. I imagine it's probably because it arose in the 70's, back when disco and afro-sheen were in style.
If you do a Google search on ethnic slurs, the second page you get is aptly labeled "ethnic slurs by ethnicity". I did just such a search a few months ago, suspecting that I would find a trend, and sure enough my expectations were met. There they have a list of derogatory terms for people of all different ethnicities and religions, but you may notice one particular group of people has considerably more entries than the others, can you guess which group that is? Of course it's black people, or "African Descent" as Wikipedia phrases it with the utmost respect for political correctness.

The reason I began looking into this matter is because it seems rather obvious that black people are among the most maligned cultures in all of society, and the reasoning behind it fascinates me. I'm not sure of exactly why that is, or more specifically when it happened, and I haven't yet come to a concrete theory of my own so I'm open to suggestions, but I find the allure of understanding why, and how it became so widespread and pervasive to be well worth investigating.

The main thing that got me thinking about this topic is that we live in a time where it has become increasingly common for people to enter into interracial relationships. For example, I have two close female friends who are simultaneously working their way out of relationships that were probably ill-fated from the outset, largely for the very reasons that are the topic of my curiosity today.These two young ladies hail from two completely different ethnic backgrounds, both with parents who are from other countries, which makes their disinclination towards integrating black in-laws particularly strong in my experience.

I wondered, why is that? What happened, and when, that allowed black people the inglorious distinction of being the most unwanted in-laws of all time. Personally I've never been an official participant in an interracial relationship, however I do suffer from a penetrating adoration of the female form, so who knows where that will take me. But, ask your average man with a daughter going off to college what his recurring nightmare is that doesn't involve grim death, and I would wager that often enough that nightmare would be said daughter coming home with her new college boyfriend, who just happens to have a little more epidermal pigment than her father's taste permits. Now mind you, I'll be the first to say that black people, particularly African-American culture, certainly has it's bald-spots, but then who doesn't? Maybe ours are just the most conspicuous, but even that alone can't justify the apparently deep-seeded aversion. It far out-dates the advent of the internet and modern media in my estimation, so it can't be blamed on that.

Back to my two young lady friends, the details of the demise of their respective relationships are strikingly similar, beyond being skin deep. A few of the common details were, "I love him but I know my parents never will." "He's not motivated", "he doesn't want anything better for himself." "He talks about having kids but I just don't think he's mature enough." My God, I thought. I really wish I could take exception to that as a black male, but sadly I really can see how one would come away with such an impression as reluctant as I am to admit it in public. One of these gentleman I have met, both are at least a few years older (and ostensibly wiser and more mature) than myself, so how is this possibly the case?

Not to say that I'm the archetype of maturity and adulthood, but I like to think my potential wife will harbor no such complaints about me. Even so I'm not foolish enough to think that that alone will allow one to leap over the fence of cultural separation. I could probably be the High Prince of Zamunda, have my own currency, and the average non-black family would still rather I leave their daughter be.

As one final anecdote of how bad things have gotten, consider this. A while ago, it was discovered by some friends of mine that on the website craigslist, there are listings for house-call escorts in your area. It being a hot summer day in a house full of alcohol, sooner or later temptation won and calls were placed. They were given a wrong address (since obviously no one wanted to really patronize prostitutes), that was conveniently within eye-shot of the kitchen window. This went on for hours, there really was nothing else to do, so why not make a few working girls burn gas driving all over town unnecessarily, only to be laughed at from a window across the street. Later on, one particular fellow came by the house to get in on the entertainment. He began making a few calls, and sooner or later came upon one who seemed willing to submit. He started giving her the address, when she interjected, "I'm sorry honey, are you african-american?" She inquired. "Yes I am." He replied. "Oooooh, I'm sorry sweetie, I don't date outside of my race." Click.

Wow! Didn't see that one coming. Is this really the state of things. So reviled are we that not even a girl of the avenue is willing to tolerate it as a commercial transaction? What more needs to be said?

So where does that leave us? Just what happened, and where is it all going? Your theories are as good as mine, please tell me.