Celebrities Do Dumb Shit

"Can't turn a hoe into a housewife."
--Tupac Shakur

A little while ago, a friend of mine sent me a text message that read "Kim K. is going to insure her ass. Lol." I really don't give a fuck about celebrity news in any sense of the word. In fact I try to avoid learning anything about these peoples personal lives if I can, because I just don't care. And out of all the things in the world that I despise, there is little I hate more than these people who make their living being "Celebrity Experts". The Joan Rivers and and whoever else does it that know all the info on people with money and status, and apparently no sense of propriety or shame. As far as her insuring her ass, whatever truth there is to this statement, they only do it for publicity, so it doesn't really deserve any more of a mention than that.
I really disapprove of people like Kim Kardashian being celebrities inasmuch as it extends past what she does best, posing for provocative pictures. That's all she is, a girl who has been blessed with a nice face and a voluptuous body. Outside of that, she's nothing as far as I'm concerned. I learned recently that there is a show entitled Keeping Up With the Kardashians. It occurs to me that any real popular following this family has incurred has happened almost entirely as a result of Ms. Kim's having been spotted all over the internet fellating one of her boyfriends.
How her family is able to sleep at night capitalizing off of this, what has to be a personal horror, I have no idea. Good thing for her father he's not here to see this, but I'm sure he's doing somersaults in his grave knowing that his family is now famous because his daughter is all over the internet 'S'-ing and 'F'-ing a black 'D' for all to see. Every fathers dream.
While I'm on the topic, I can't support Reggie Bush anymore, and this will be the last of the celebrity talk I do. Did he even have parents? How could a mother, father, step-parent, cousin, anyone let one of their relatives go out and publicly put their mouth on an internet porn-star? Out of all the broads in all the world a Reggie Bush could land, this is what you come up with? I guess at this day and age damn near everybody is someone else's leftovers, but damn. At least normal people are generally afforded the luxury of not having the whole world offered visual proof of her giving her body away like a tax rebate.
How can you wife up a girl who's been whored out on the internet? Seriously. She's hot, sure, can't really take that away from her, but worthless. She is devoid of all worth now. Pretty much every girl I know, none of them really being on her level appearance-wise (all apologies) can take pride in knowing that they are far more appealing than her in every meaningful aspect. Whoever said looks aren't everything saw deeply into life, and this may be the crowning example. As physically attractive as she is, I, Mike Brown, all 5'7" 200 lbs of me that sits beneath a receded hairline, and would need a new word 3 steps above lucky to describe the state of affairs were I able to land a girl of her physical stature, could not possibly justify wifing her.
I will admit, as far as women are concerned looks definitely count quite a bit, but not enough compensate in her case. I can already hear the most cynical of my male counterparts chiding me for acting like I wouldn't give her a run if I had the chance. This argument is invalid, because that's not even the point. You'd be hard pressed to find a man anywhere who wouldn't, that's just what men do, but I damn sure wouldn't put my name on her because I have parents. A brother, a sister, a family that expects things from me. Moreover I have a stomach that churns at the idea of a woman I will give my name to being on the internet on all fours, mouth agape waiting for the inevitable. Pardon the visual, but she did it, not me.
Somebody please talk to the boy Reggie, he's a role model now, kids are looking up to him. "Keep yo heart 3-stacks." She ain't the one.