Stop Acting Skinny

"How was work today, honey?"
"Oh, just another episode of 'A fat woman clip-clopped into the shoe store today.'"
-- Al Bundy

As someone who likes to think of myself as somewhat of a humanitarian, and moreover as a person whose physical dimensions fall somewhat shy of superficially ideal, far-be-it for me to criticize someone else for their morphological short-comings.
I lie, I jam on funny-looking people all the time, but not out of pure mean-spiritedness if that counts for anything. Most of my ire is directed at those peculiar lookers who display a manner of a person much more normal looking than themselves, an air of arrogance even.
The other day, as I was leaving the library on the Dickinson College campus, I spotted what is not a totally unusual sight these days, a lesbian couple. But these were no ordinary lesbians, they were a pair of chubsters. I really have nothing in particular against hefty women, many of them that I have known have been amongst the more pleasant individuals that I've met. But every now and then, you run across a sour apple who just messes up everything for the rest of the barrell. These two girls appeared to be just such apples. I know I didn't talk to them, or get to know them or any of that blah blah that people say you should do before you go and judge somebody but fuck that, some shit is just too much.
The pair sashayed down the street holding hands in a most conspicuous fashion, almost as if they were purposely drawing attention to themselves. Compound that with the fact that in my humblest of estimations there was about 5 and a half to 6 hundred of the old L B's between the two of them, and you have quite a sight strolling down the street on a nice cool spring day. Many may say, what is so wrong with that, what is your problem with a couple of chubby lesbians enjoying a nice romantic stroll? Here is my problem.
The one on the right was fairly normal looking for a person, but her girlfriend with whom she shared periodic romantic pecks on the neck in just the short period of time that I could watch was quite a different story. If the visual of the neck kissing isn't enough to turn you off, note this. This young person was about 5'6", had the abdominal girth of an NFL guard, wearing the pants that cut-off at the calf and looked like they were supposed to be the loose kind, but they were obviously not contemplated for someone of such impressive mass. Her peeled back 3 inch pony-tail was just barely visible beneath the bill of her backwards green army camouflage baseball cap, with a bright pink adjustable strap in the front right above her considerable, cro-magnon forehead. She sported a pair of what I imagine were at some point flip-flops that were now hanging on to their last shred of existence clanging to the bottoms of her hobbit feet. All the while she strolled along loudly reciting some indecipherable song lyrics I couldn't recognize. I only guessed it was a song because of the strange bopping back and forth to some imaginary beat that she was doing, that only served to enhance the already plentiful gyrating cellulose visible beneath her overly tight clothing. But the piece that really set me off was this. She had on a shirt, the shirt looked to be more than big enough to house her upper body in it's entirety, yet inexplicably it was rolled up exposing her midriff.
Midriff is a word that should only be used to describe the exposed abdominal region of a young woman who has prioritized her physical health somewhere ahead of obscene amounts of Hagen-Dazs, and recreational beer and burger binges, which are my only guess as to how two people like this could grow so large.
I really don't mean to be hating on fat women, but this was one of the most ridiculous sights I have ever laid my eyes on. If this girl got down on all fours her stomach would have definitely dragged along the sidewalk, yet she felt confident enough to deliberately expose her saturated, dracula-pale belly for all passers-by to see. Which they all did, many stopping and turning after the couple walked by, sporting expressions on their faces that embodied the very words that I am now writing.
Be realistic, please. It's one thing to be fat, fine, I'm hardly in a position to criticize, but don't try to act skinny. It's not self-righteous to display a body you know no one wants to see, you're not embracing your identity, or doing any other corny Dr. Phil shit by showing off how comfortable you are being considerably overweight. Please, just stop, think, breathe, and put on clothes that were made for you.
On a related note, I was at the pool the other day and saw another very large woman in a bikini.
I have no problem with big women swimming. But come on now. And who even makes bikinis in size super-big? Why even leave the option really, it's socially irresponsible to walk around like that. You're nothing but a big walking target for snickering and laughs and mimicked-vomiting motions, all of which I saw and none of which were perpetrated by me. All of this could have been avoided by just sticking to the script. You're big, you want to swim, fine. Just don't go apeshit and pretend you feel fine putting all that out there for everyone to see. It's really just too much.